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Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 2082
   Posted 7/8/2014 6:00 PM (GMT -6)   
"Thanks for the info. Were they placed in a medi-caid paid home? We can't afford the private facilities which is why I am very hesitant about the state run type. My mom is all I have. The thought of not being able to see her when I want and take care of her is killing me inside. She's very much like a child and gets scared very easily and always looks for me. I'm already getting upset just thinking about her leaving me."


In answer to your above question: They were in privately-owned nursing homes who accept Medicaid. I'm not even sure we have state-owned nursing homes here. All the ones we checked into in our area are owned by larger companies, but if you want to do business in this industry where we live, you would have to accept Medicaid patients or go out of business because even those who pay their way can quickly run out of money unless they are very wealthy. Most all of the patients in our area are on Medicaid, even in the nicer, newer places.

My dad had some savings (he and Mother lived simply and scrimped) and we paid monthly for his room and board, which was over $4000.00 a month. Had he lived longer and the money spent down to where he had only $2000.00 left, he would have been changed over to Medicaid and his stay there paid through that.

When we placed him, he was coming out of a hospital stay. The hospitals have personnel whose job it is to find a facility that can take the patient in cases like Daddy's. So that helped us, but the nursing home gave us the information and had all the paperwork we needed to get these things done.

I would suggest calling your mother's doctor first for help. The local Department of Human Services would have information also. Some of these offices may or may not be as helpful as they could be. I had to change my mother's doctor at one point due to the ineptitude of his staff with stuff like this.

But I also suggest getting on the phone and calling local nursing homes and ask for information about their facility, including whether they take Medicaid patients. One thing about it--these people know that most of us have never done all this before and in our experience, the nursing homes were happy to help. If they aren't, that's probably not the place you want for your mother anyway.

It may seem strange in this day and time, but the place my dad was in can be accessed 24/7 and they told us we could come any time as they don't lock the doors (it's in a small town). Patients who are apt to walk off wear ankle bracelets that set an alarm off. That's what my dad had after he was moved to a regular floor from the Alzheimer's unit when he improved. In the Alzheimer's unit, the unit is locked down for patient safety, but we were always let in and could take Daddy out and walk around place or go sit on their large front porch, of course, in rocking chairs. The Alzheimer's unit, even when Daddy was put into a regular room, held a special place for Daddy and he would go visit the other patients even after he moved out of it.

I guess I'm trying to say that there are places out there that are good places and want families to come and be involved. And the other patients looove it when someone comes and will visit with you too! I hope you can find that for your mom. Bless you. -Joy

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 480
   Posted 7/11/2014 2:52 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you for being to relate what i'm going through. My mom was always very needy. When I threatened to move out at 17 she panicked and freaked out. I was only kidding of course since I didn't even have a job but I knew then the extent of her lack of self reliance. She couldn't even eat by herself in public. She was that self conscious.

Over the years we just became one. My sister and brothers moved out and I was her rock. I slowly noticed tremors from her fingers then legs. I never imagined it could progress to dementia and weakness of her legs where she can barely walk now and can't tell me a thing when she's not feeling well.

Thinking back I was so naive. The neurologist said your mom has Parkinsons and my response was ok what does she need to take and we'll go get them. I didn't understand how bad it can get or what it can build up to.

I am still in denial and don't want to think about this. I rather she died in her sleep than go to a home. At least then I wouldn't have to worry anymore. I need to stop writing now or else the anxiety will come back in full force. Thanks again.
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