I'm sorry that someone hasn't posted earlier. We had family members who were this way in regard to both my parents when they were in their latter stages of their diseases. My parents were hurt that these family members wouldn't come see them. I don't know if your loved one is still able to know people, but if she is, it does matter. But you can't make them come.
My sister and I still had to oversee our parents' care even, and especially, with them in a nursing home. They still had to have an advocate. They still needed love, even when they weren't conscious. I understand the "I want to remember them the way they were" feeling, but we have to do what's right for the patient and not be giving in to our sentiments. No one wants to be abandoned by a family member just because it makes them feel uncomfortable, but your husband's reaction is not new. Men, in my opinion, are probably more susceptible about
this than women because it's not socially acceptable in some minds for men to
openly show emotions, which is ridiculous, but anyway...
I don't know if my family members feel regret, but I know how it made my parents feel. These family members have to live with their decisions, not me. I really commend you for standing by your mother-in-law. My mother and dad, one with Parkinson's and the other with Alzheimer's, both recognized my husband even when they didn't recognize me at times, which was comforting to me.
I hope your husband changes his mind.
Post Edited (JaSanne) : 8/31/2014 9:39:05 AM (GMT-6)