Posted 12/22/2014 3:23 PM (GMT -7)
Hi, I am new here, i came across this site and hoping to get some advice or just vent even. Let me start by saying i am 42 this past October me and my husband celebrated out one year anniversary, we have been together for 3 years. I have known him for almost 10 years. His wife left him and eventually we started seeing each other. Anyways, since i have come into the picture his mother had already been showing signs of Parkinson's it took me 6 months to convince him to change her doctor. When he finally did he immediatly reffered her to a Neurologist, where she was diagnosed with Parkinson's, by this time we were already living together and engaged. (note: she was living with my husband for 5 years before we got together) We got married and her condition got worse. It is now starting to have a strain on our marriage. He is an only child, his father passed away when he was 18, and my husband is all she has, he tells me this all the time, he is in serious denial about her worsening condition, she isn't bathing, she refuses to go anywhere, her fear of public places is getting worse, forgetting our names, and if she has even eaten anything, she is losing her balance a lot to the point of severe brusing where she leans to catch herself, when we ask her about it, she says it is nothing, my last straw was a deep purple bruise on her hand and when he asked her about it she said "she didnt mean to do it" and he asked "Who?" and she said "that girl" and said my name, he has to monitor her meds, her bills and tell her when to take a bath, and fixes plates for her, it is to the point where everyday life revolves around her, i feel like i am being selfish and uncaring. He keeps telling me "If you only knew how she was before." I dont hate her i care for her, but she is so disconnected from people and life already how can i possibly bond closley with her? He gets frustrated with me when i tell him about episodes of her forgetting or saying off the wall things. My fear is if i don't and something happens to her, he will say "You knew about this and didn't tell me?" I constantly listen to how frustrated he is with her, and all he can say is "What do I do?" or "What can I do?" I have considered leaving the marriage over the stress of this situation, I feel like I am responsible for her only when it suits him, but any input into her medical treatment is a no no, unless he asks, and i refuse to suggest anything, for fear it will backfire on me, when something goes wrong. I am at my wits end!!!