early onset Alzheimers...father in law only in his,60's

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Date Joined Apr 2013
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 3/19/2015 10:10 PM (GMT -6)   
My father in law was diagnosed about 6 years ago. He is only in his 60s. He still lives in his home with his wife. But things are getting more difficult. He stopped driving 5 yrs ago. He has lost interest in most of the things he used to do. His biggest issue over the last few years is finding his words and following conversations... Even when its one on one and simple. He putters around the house mumbling to himself. Often looking lost and confused. He used to be very organized and particular about his belongings and now is seemingly more careless and doesn't keep his stuff 'just so' as he always did before. He's often grumpy. He has poor vision and can hardly work the microwave anymore. His wife has to get his clothes out for him and direct him to shower etc... Though he does clean himself and do his personal hygiene on his own. But certainly requires direction throughout the day. Can only be left on his own for a couple hours. We are concerned about when the right time is for him to go into care or bring a worker into the home. My husband seems to think that he will be in care by the end of the year but his mom seems to think its still a couple years. I'm kind of in the middle.... I can see it starting to become tiresome on my mother in law. She also takes care of our daughter and nephew twice a week so its almost like having three kids. We want them to think about the future sooner than later and help them figure out a plan. I'm curious to know how this will all play out.... Any thoughts on how rapidly he could decline? He has clearly taken some backward steps in the last year. It's very sad and I know more challenging times are ahead... Though unsure what to expect. My husband feels like he's already mourned his loss.

Post Edited (haileysmama) : 3/20/2015 4:28:15 PM (GMT-6)

Steve n Dallas
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Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 4840
   Posted 3/21/2015 5:15 AM (GMT -6)   
Sorry to hear about your father in law...

He can stay home as long as his wife can handle him. And you should talk to her about can she handle the two kids or should you make other arrangements.

It sounds like he's too advanced to go to an assisted living place. Level three for assisted living is where they will bathe him etc... But they don't lock the place down...He's free to come and go as he pleases.

The more expensive Total Care is where he might end up. Total Care in the Dallas area starts at three grand a month.... If he's a vet, there are tons of money you can get to help out.... If he's a vet, odds are there's a huge waiting list.....

New Member

Date Joined Apr 2013
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 3/21/2015 9:55 AM (GMT -6)   
He's not a vet...and we are in Canada so I'm not sure how things are different here with assisted living etc.

Hubbys mom would never admit if the kids were too much for her..shes just that kind of person. Which is what I worry about. Kids are her life. She raised three of her own and has run kindergym programs for 20+ years. The kids are what she wants to hold on to..they keep her young and free. But of course she has a husband to take care of and we often remind her to be honest and let us know,if she needs a break. But she is the kind who doesn't ask for help. She just pushes through. One of the strongest women I have ever known.

It will be an interesting,couple of years trying to sort it all out. My younger sister in law is still living at home but starts her next semester of college in Sept and feels she needs to get out of the house in order to succeed in her studies but she is riddled with guilt about it. We told her she needs to do what she needs to do and we are here to help support all of them. We may offer our condo to her and offer moving into the house for extra support..but we will have to see what they want.

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Date Joined Mar 2014
Total Posts : 791
   Posted 5/27/2015 7:02 AM (GMT -6)   
Wow I can relate to your post, my Father is 75, and hasn't had Alzheimers for very long that we know of, but this year has been a difficult one for him.

My Mother who is in excellent health takes very good care of him, she does get weary with the constant questions, and repeating herself over and over to him, but she loves him and really has great patience with my Dad.

My Dad has lost interest in most things he loved, he used to walk 4 miles every day, and now he doesn't, he loved to read and tinker in his shed, but not any longer, he sets around a lot looking lost and sad which breaks my heart. He constantly worries about my Mother, and she can barely get out of his sight, I know for certain he would never last in any Nursing home. We've discussed this and he will not go, we will take care of him no matter what, he is my Father and he took care of us, now it's our turn to take care of him. I know everyone doesn't have this option due to work, but my Father can't be away from his family he would just give up in a nursing home.

This illness breaks my heart, the person you once knew is not the same person, my Father was always such a strong man, a very hard worker, now he looks so frail. Just makes me incredibly sad.
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