How do you start the placement process?

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New Member

Date Joined Jun 2015
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 6/16/2015 12:53 AM (GMT -6)   
I'm afraid we are getting closer to the time that we will have to place my mother in a residential home designed for people with Alzheimer's...she is 90, but physically is like a healthy 70 year old. Completely independent and able to physically do all tasks of daily living, getting around, etc. But mentally, ah, what a challenge. The usual lack of shorter term memory, some delusional confabulation, complete denial that anything is wrong with her, and no ability to reason. Anything that is amiss is someone else's fault.

I already set up a weekly med box for her and handle the refills, handle the finances, and we hire a lady from church to take her shopping once a week. My 63 y.o. brother has always lived with her (he is disabled with Asperger's and severe OCD, but thinks clearly) and is supposed to be daily checking on her to take her meds, save the mail for us to see, and be sure to throw out old food. But he doesn't follow through reliably.

Anyway, that's the brief picture. Her emotional status is much worse now, she easily becomes instantly belligerent and snarling if I say anything she doesn't like (which is often). She thinks nothing is wrong with her.

I don't know where to start when it comes to finding an appropriate facility for her that will take her social security and Medicare for payment. She doesn't have any assets or long term care insurance. We live in Arizona, and I don't know if there are programs for low income Alzheimer's patients. I don't even even know who to ask. I'm the only and last family member to take care of her, and my brother too. I can barely take care of myself, I am disabled.

Can someone give me a starting point please?
Fibromyalgia with PEM, sleep apnea, depression and anxiety, ankylosing spondylitis, "pre" diabetic, high cholesterol (basically metabolic syndrome), diastolic dysfunction

Steve n Dallas
Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 4848
   Posted 6/16/2015 6:41 AM (GMT -6)   
Sorry to hear about your mom...

Was your dad a Vet by any chance? I think you'd get some ***istance if he was.

Since your mom is so physically fit, she'll need a full lock down facility to help keep her from leaving.

You can Google-> Arizona Alzheimer lock down facility

to help get your search started.

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2003
Total Posts : 10407
   Posted 6/16/2015 8:28 AM (GMT -6)   
Try the Arizona Division of Aging and Adult Services. They should be able to provide some guidance, if not actual assistance.


Good luck to you and your mom.
Thyroid forum moderator

Ulcerative colitis; 9th year of remission with Remicade. Inflammatory osteoarthritis; osteonecrosis from steroids. Grave's disease post-RAI and now on Levothyroxine. Type II diabetes induced by steroids. #ucsucks

New Member

Date Joined Jun 2015
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 6/16/2015 11:57 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for the ideas! I hadn't even thought of my dad's veteran status....he served in WW2 and died in 1981. I'll follow up on that and the other idea with AZ DES. Thank you!
Fibromyalgia with PEM, sleep apnea, depression and anxiety, ankylosing spondylitis, "pre" diabetic, high cholesterol (basically metabolic syndrome), diastolic dysfunction

Michael In NY
Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2012
Total Posts : 85
   Posted 6/16/2015 9:51 PM (GMT -6)   
Contact the Alzheimer 24/7 Helpline at 1-800-272-3900.

New Member

Date Joined Dec 2015
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 12/9/2015 2:25 AM (GMT -6)   
We had to get husbands mom a physical and evaluation first, took me a year to get
her to do it. Then when he said it was dementia she agreed to go in. By the time
she did she swore we tricked her. She signed the papers and everything.

You can go to VA, if her assets are less then $80k and her income less then $13k and
they will adjust it for the care facility fees they can get up to a max of $1149 a month for help.
MIL's SS and VA will almost cover hers. For 6 months they are giving us a reduced rate of
$1800, then goes up to $2555. Your dad only had to be in 1 day while the country was
at war.

Just go see your county Veterans assisted officer, some places will charge you
he won't.

Then we had to get her a chest xray and TB test, it may vary state to state.

She is in a beautiful one and hates it. Also doesn't hurt to have a durable POA.
She never would sign one so we can't be in charge of her. But we have the doctors
report saying she has dementia.

My understand is VA will pay toward assisted living but not a nursing home. And
husbands nephew said you can't get both Medicaid and the VA help medicare does
not pay for assisted living.

Oh VA has no look back right now but I hear its gong to go to a 2 year lookback, in
other words did she give money or property away in the last 2 years. For Medicaid
its a 5 year look back and has been a long time.

New Member

Date Joined Jun 2015
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 12/9/2015 3:22 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for all the info about the VA, I appreciate your detailed reply.
Since I posted originally, I found out how to apply for state funded long term care here in AZ. It is a part of the Medicaid (in AZ called AHCCCS) program, and my mom had to qualify financially (low income) and medically.

We filled everything out (I have durable power of attorney already) and she did qualify financially. Then a nurse came out to do the medical evaluation, and because she can still do her ADL's (activities of daily living) such as walking, transferring, toileting, feeding herself, dressing etc, she did not qualify, despite the burned food (fire risk, as she still cooks) and her Alzheimer's. I was told to reapply when she is worse, and also after the first of the year, the criteria will be changing to weigh mental issues more heavily.

She is definitely getting worse, as last week she crossed a line by hitting me, hard, for the first time because I asked her to look for a receipt in her purse. She gets instantly belligerent, and now violent, with no warning. I wonder what she would have done to me if she had happened to have a knife in her hand (we were in the kitchen) I notified her doctor, who said there was nothing that could be done.

As far as the VA, that did come up in the long term care application. Unfortunately, my mom "has no idea" where my father's military papers are...nor will she look for them. His DD214 (discharge) etc. He died in 1981, and was buried at a VA cemetery. We tried to file the paperwork, but the VA said we need his papers. I thought they would have records on him, based on his social security number, which I supplied, but no go. I guess at some point, my hubby and I will have to search thru every single thing my mom has to see if she has them somewhere, which will enrage her.

For now, I continue to have to handle her affairs, finances, meds, etc, as well as my disabled brother's stuff, who at 64 has always lived with her and has no clue how the world works (he has Aspergers and OCD) and I just found out I have Lyme disease as well as, or instead of fibromyalgia, for 20 years, I'm sicker than them and can't handle this anymore!
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