Posted 8/11/2015 1:29 PM (GMT -6)
My father had Alzheimer's and I understand what you're going through. When we had to place my father into the nursing home with an Alzheimer's unit for his own protection, we wondered just what would happen to his property, but his needs were more important. My mother had already passed away.
When you place a spouse in a nursing facility and you're still in your home, they won't take your home when Medicaid is needed to pay for his care, and you're allowed to keep one automobile for your use (at least that's how it was when we were going through it). It helps to call and speak to someone, either from a nursing facility's office staff, or your state's department of human services, to know just what takes place in your state when it comes to what the rules are. We were given all sorts of advice from friends who didn't know what they were talking about.
We did spend down my father's savings (meaning we paid for his nursing home care by the month from his savings) and were starting to prepare for him to go into the Medicaid program, but he passed away before his savings ran out and we never had to deal with selling his home or property.
I think it's time, for both your sakes, to place him in a facility. You have nothing to feel guilty about; it's just that Alzheimer's is too difficult for a spouse to handle single-handedly. My father's major organs were affected as much as his mind, but we knew he had to be in a facility when he tried to make coffee in the night and came too close to potentially burning his house down - with him in it.