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New Member

Date Joined Feb 2004
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 2/1/2004 3:14 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello everyone, I am new here and my mom has alzheimer's. I am the only one in the family that cares for her. She is still able to live alone, but only because her neighbors upstairs check on her like family. I have seen a rapid decline in her as of late. Although she does not wander, there is little that she can do for herself. She can no longer cook or wash, and sometimes mixes up the shampoo and conditioner. Just this weekend she wanted me to see her caller-ID to ask me how she was going to PAY that phone bill???? She just could no longer understand what it is used for. I do everything as I said, and it is becoming harder and harder as I am on disability for Lupus and a host of other autoimmune diseases. She is not ready for a nursing home..but not far from that if anyone here understands what I mean. She has enough of her mind to know that things are not right.....I hate this illness, and I do the best I can. WHAT are the stages...DO they go from one to another rapidly?? HOW do you get others in the family to do even the little things. I take care of all of her bills, and shopping, doctors, and anything unusual that comes up. I have kept her at my home for as much as 2wks at a time trying to heal leg wounds. You would think my sister would be MORE interested in helping as my mom was a loving mother and deserves nothing but the best. I do all pick ups of her medication as she as COPD as well. I did hire her neighbors to administer her meds, as I was not able to keep up the pace of driving there 2x a day..NOW she cannot figure out how to open the cans of ensure. I make her sandwiches and bring them 3x a week, and I order her out her favorite foods. Sorry to make this so long. Right now I have all the care AT home that I can get for her, but I am afraid of what is to come. I appreicate any communication here and support. Really..MANY thanks in advance!!!!

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2003
Total Posts : 335
   Posted 2/1/2004 6:10 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello Hope.
My mother in law has dementia and because she can afford it she now has a full time carer living with her,so her day to day needs are taken care of such as meals,washing etc.The thing is though that there are other things that have to be taken care of decisions that the carer can not take responsability for.It is important that all the family get to gether and decide who can do what and when,it makes things so much easier when everyone will pull together and do there bit.
Would it be possable for you to have a family meeting,and basicaly put your cards on the table and tell your family that you just can not cope with this situation on your own and,can they all pull together and get a rota together so it takes the pressure of you.(Are they aware of your illness?)As far as advice on the dementia i am afraid that i am as green as you are.It seemes to be a case of taking each day at a time as in my experiance it is very difficult to predict what the next stage will be.
Hopefully someone else on here will be able to advice better than me.

Bag Lady

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