This year I am finding it just as hard to not have you here....your ashes are ready to be picked up BUT is it selfish of me NOT to want them for Mother's Day??
I dont want to remember all the rest of my mothers days with your ashes being given to me ya know
I have a firm belief it is not right nor fair for Cait either to have to have this hanging over us
After yes I want them with all my heart for some proper closure but not this weekend cannot do it ........
Am I being wrong here Mom ??
I dont think I am but I am not playing with a full deck lately dad is not well at all he and i both broke down on Wednesday after market when came home to calls and a letter from the cemetary
It has been a yr and months ( 15 months actually)
WHY NOW
I keep asking myself
I wont have you and I wont have Cait nor Grammy even Rick is being made to go to Jens family's once again.......It hurts Mom I have no one here to celebrate with and I don like it at all ...
Just another day til Cait comes home following weekend ........
I wish I had done more and said more to you while you were still here theres so much left unsaid
Loving you always MOM
Your daughter .....and Grandaughter
***
Always remember to tell your loved ones daily what they mean to you ........
There will copme a time you will not be able to other than thru prayer n stars and thats ok but still it hurts when you cannot see nor hug them .
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Dx with Crohns ,pyoderma gangrenosum ,Anxiety and panic
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Take that Lil step ..I will hold your hand and we will make big strides
LYN
Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 5/11/2007 5:05:58 AM (GMT-6)