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Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2527
   Posted 8/23/2007 5:17 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello everyone,
This year for me is not going by fast enough with everything that has happened.  My nana is stable and being kept comfortable.  The NH is getting her a "hospice bed", not really sure what that is, maybe just more comfy.
Today when I called my job to let them know dates of dr appts I have in Sept since the schedule is made up the month before I wanted them to know my conflicts which they have been good about in the past remicade etc.  I was informed that due to my limitations I will have (only limitations would be until Sept 20th then back to full duties) to find employment elsewhere.  They said that they are fully staffed this after asking me earlier in the week for a letter from my Dr listing my limitations...I told them about the 20 lb weight limit and the no mopping or vacuuming the animal hospital for a few weeks.  I applied for unemployment today online and I have to call them tomorrow to inform them that I am still getting TDI but just til the end of August this way they dont somehow overlap payment.
My nan is still not doing well she was placed on Hospice and they figure she wont be with us much longer maybe a week or 2.  With my papa finally realizing my nan wont be going home and that she maybe has 2 weeks left he actually mentioned to my folks about Eric and I moving in with him.  At first I was like no way he will be 80 and we are still newlyweds.  Eric called me from work and it does make sense to move in there it is a 3 story cape house (1 family) with a 2 car garage detached on 1/4 or 1/2 acre ( i cant remeber which) and this happened before the work thing.  This would give him company, we could split utilities, we wouldnt have rent to pay ...right now we pay 775 and my dresser cannot fit in out bedroom with our full size bed.  We would definitly want cable and internet and this house would need to be wired for that which he and I would take care of 100% and papa would get cable free on his tvs too since we get digital cable.
The floor plan is pretty spacious the basement has 2 rooms one half is where the boiler, washer/dryer, cedar closet, and shelving units are.  The other half of the basement (actually still has lots of my stuff in those plastic bins from when my ex and I got divorced and I moved out and had lots of stuff and no where to put it besides there.  This room has a tile floor (there is a subpump down there due to some minimal flooding with severe storms) it is a large open room which is like a family room.  It has a bar and the 1/2 bath.  The main floor has 2 bedrooms (one is his and the other use to be my moms and it still has a bed in the room as well as dressers full of my nan and papas stuff).  There use to be a screened in room which a while back they turned it into a small denwith a half wall dividing  into a needs some updating but what doesnt lol.  there is also the full bath on this level and a living room, they still have old fashioned furniture in here...well not too old sometime in the 70s maybe or before.  In this area there are stairs that lead up to the top floor.  This floor consists of 2 bedrooms which are now basically walk in closets for my nans stuff (she has many clothes but in the past few yrs she has stuck with the same few outfits). 
After she passes my mom and I are going to go thru her stuff and as far as clothes and shoes (all 3 of us have the same size foot) figure out what we want to keep as far as clothes and shoes.  Me being the animal lover that I am has no desire in her full length Mink coat and my nana had bought 1 for my mom the same day she got hers.  My mom would like to give that to my aunt (my dad's sister-in-law) she has been through all of this with us being there multiple times a week hopefully it will fit her.  As far as jewelry, my nan has lots she even has my old wedding rings from my 1st marriage.  My mom wants to keep all the jewelry in the family which I agree, she wants to pick out something for my godfather's wife (I call him uncle and her just by her first name they are great friends of the family with no blood relation at all).  My godfathers wife is an amazing woman, she is a nurse (she still keeps up her license hoping her health will get better enough again so she may return to practicing even as an in home nurse.  She worked as a pediatric ICU nurse as well as a military nurse, she came to see me everyday when I was in the hospital these last few times and my godfather actually met her not too long before I was Dx and she went to all the tests with me when I was 8 and scared. 
I hate having to think this way about my nan but I know it is coming and no matter how you prepare for it it still hurts.  My papa actually mentioned us moving in with him to my folks the other day.  It was brought to my attention yesterday.  My reaction was how about a cat when my dad informed me about the situation.  They have been married 58 years and he has never been living alone ever (1 of 8 chldren), granted he was the chef, did the laundry and the housework.  More things as she declined of course.  My husband and I want kids in the next yr or 2 and if we move there things will be easier with no rent, we would split bills of course and pay 100% of cable and internet since he has no interest in it. 
We are debating the offer now more than ever especially since this afternoon I was layed off over the phone due to my TDI and 3 weeks of limited duty I would have.  We would live in the larger of the 2 rooms upstairs, the other maybe a PC room for a while then turn it into a nursery when the time would come.  Eric even said if we live there you wouldnt even need to work, which I would but when a baby arrives I could work part time.  Also a few houses up the road is my nans brother and sis in law and she watches children in her house for some income (she is in her 60's and 13 yrs younger than him).  Her daughter also runs a daycare out of her home (next town over) which would be helpful too.  My papa would have to get use to 2 cats in the house (I take 100% care of them...they are the only good thing I got out of my last marriage). 
I know this type of living condition can be unhealthy but in our situation maybe it is best?
What do you think (eric and my 2nd anniv is in Oct) I am afraid of our intimate times being at my papas house though.  when we came back from California we lived with my parents for about 10 months and sex was rare being that there were others in the house,  Eric assures me that this would not be the case here but who knows. 
What would you all do in this situation?  If we decide to go for it we need to inform our landlord by the 1st to give him a months notice.  What types of unhealthy things may occur, at this point my head is a blur with everything.

Dx with Crohn's 1987, symptoms as early as 1984.
Temp iliostomy February 2007, reversed June 2007, Ovarian cysts, migraines, allergies (incl food allergies) , oral allergy syndrome (diff than true food allergies), Asthma, Gall Bladder removed 1999, Inguenal hernia 1987

Elite Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 8/24/2007 5:38 PM (GMT -6)   
I am sure you are making some good sound decisions for Eric and yourself
As well you will be able top help your grampa and out ........
I am so sorry for your loss

I am truly sorry about your there nothing you can do about the way you are being treated there

Huggs to you and yours

Gentle loving huggs to you and your Mom and grampa as well as Eric .......

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Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 8/24/2007 4:46:24 PM (GMT-6)

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