Hi, Tennis! I came for a visit on this forum because you wanted to share what was going on in your life. I knew, when you first started posting in the fibro forum, that you were really struggling. I'm so proud of you that you overcame that destructive urge. You definitely made the right choice.
Life is a series of choices. What we chose to do affects the outcome of our life. Unfortunately, many make wrong choices. You, though, really thought things out and made the very best choice. Now, from what you have been writing on the fibro forum, you are making many great choices! You persevered and got help for your physical pain, you are sleeping better, going out with friends more, and, best of all, planning for a great future! I'm so very proud of you, Tennis!
Try not to let the anxiety and panic take over either. From your post, you seem to be doing much better in that area. I suffered from anxiety and panic to the point that I barely could move and was on so much valium that it was affecting my personality. I sure didn't like what was happening. I'm a perfectionist and like to be in control of situations in my life but I definitely wasn't in control of the panic attacks and anxiety! Once I realized the panic and anxiety was really fear, I could recognize it for what it really was. (That's why I have the scripture in my signature.) I figured that I really didn't have anything to fear so I wasn't going to let fear rule over my life! When anxiety or panic would start, the pounding heart, the sweats, the shakiness, etc., I recognized it as fear and dismissed the feelings. I knew I wasn't dying and so I got busy focusing on something besides how I was feeling and the symptoms would leave. It took practice but I have total control now. Just a few months ago I had a huge problem trying to swallow...I actually couldn't swallow! Of course panic/anxiety reared it's ugly head to make matters worse. I was able to swallow again after about 15 l-o-n-g seconds, but that didn't stop good ol' anxiety/panic! That made me angry and I got very busy and, again, I was back in control and the symptoms left.
People are far stronger that they realize. We are capable of doing things we never imagined we could. Look at the people that have lifted automobiles off of people! You can't imagine that it could be done but it has been done over and over again. So I know you can get in control of the anxiety and panic. If I can do it anybody can!
Bottom line...you are a very strong young lady! You are highly intelligent, thoughtful, and are willing to search until you find answers. That tells me that you will go far in this world. Don't let anything stop you. Depression, anxiety, panic...equals fear. Thank goodness there is medication to help, also. You can get control again. Have a great day!
Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7