Panic seems to be back

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Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 27
   Posted 1/1/2008 11:33 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello all, Happy New Year. I'm having a hard time right now. I feel as if I'm slipping back into a bad place. My panic attacks are more frequent and I seem to be more dependent on klonopin. I have been more depressed, I want to sleep more. I have a part time job in addition to my full time. I get so worked up about going to my second job that I don't eat right because I fear I will get sick. I like what I do and the extra income is helping too. I don't know why I get so worked up but I just can't help it. I  go see my doctor next week, but I don't know if that really helps either. At first it felt good to tell her my problems and get it off my chest but I just feel I'm back in a dark place and there is no light. I have been asking myself more and more, will there be a tomarrow? Not just myself but the whole world? It just seems like nothing is a reality anymore. Anyway till next time, Allmixedup
Mod-severe depression, anxiety, panic attacks.
Meds currently on, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Klonopin, Zyprexa, Buspar

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 510
   Posted 1/2/2008 3:40 AM (GMT -6)   
Disrealment is common with severe anxiety. I literally thought I was dead for a couple of hours, it's a horrible, horrible feeling. Maybe it's time for your doc to review your meds.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 1193
   Posted 1/2/2008 7:22 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Allmixedup,
Feeling like you're in a dark place is an awful feeling, but there really is a light at the end of the tunnel.  I'm currently in a tough situation, but am trying to remind myself there is a light at the end of that tunnel and that things will get better.  It may take a little time, but it will get better.  There will be another tomorrow, you just have to believe that and that you will see tomorrow and the one after and so on.
I agree that it maybe time for your doc to re-evaluate your meds.  Are you in therapy?  If not, would you be willing to do this?  I think therapy would be good for you as this would be a person who you could say anything to and be able to get these things off your chest.  A therapist would also be able to work with you on these problems and help you to get to a point that you feel the problems are resolved.
Also, there are some Relaxation Techniques you can use and you may want to consider using an online program for a technique called CBT.  This is a program that has you learn to change your realize what your negative thoughts are and to change them to be more positive.  Many members here use this program as it works well - I don't know about anyone else, but I really didn't realize just how many negative thoughts I have/had about myself.  I will try to find the thread on this program for you and bring it up to the top so that you can check it out if you wish to.  I will do the same thing with the Relaxation Techniques thread.
Please keep us posted on how you are doing of if there is anything we can do to help you.

P.S.  I've found the CBT thread for you and brouoght it back to the top for you.  The thread for the Relaxation Techniques is already on this first page about 10 threads down.  There are some good techniques that you may want to try.

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Post Edited (wen4003) : 1/2/2008 6:10:38 AM (GMT-7)

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/2/2008 10:05 AM (GMT -6)   

Dear  Allmixedup

I am sorry you are in a bad place and I think if you read the threads that Wen brought forward they may help you.  I agree it may be time for an adjustment in your meds.

I hear you saying you like your second job, but I wonder if you really do.  Perhaps you want to believe you do but it could be the stressor that is causing you to feel depressed?

Your body needs rest as well as you need some time for you to just be in the moment and not anticipating going to the extra job. If it has a negative effect on you perhaps it is not worth the extra money?

Just a thought.

Gentle Hugs


Co-Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
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*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression, GERD, Osteoarthritis
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Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 79
   Posted 1/8/2008 5:01 PM (GMT -6)   

Sorry to hear your attacks are back. Just when I thought I might of had mine beat "BANG". They have hit and hit hard. I have had a change in Meds and so far no luck. I have got so bad that I have ended up in the ER. MY heart started banging and skipping beats and thought I was going to die. Have felt that way to many times over the years. I had chest pain or I thought. They ended up doing all kind of test like they did a few years on my heart. I was throwing and still do some PVC, they have picked up some. Drs say heart looks good in fact great and think it is related to stress,panic the whole nine yards. I thought "How the heck can it cause PVCs". Sometimes I am fine and think in a normal way and then the heart starts, panic gets very high spend time crying and that this is the end. But then I settle, I have nothing and thinking comes back down to earth and I am still alive and kicking.This time around is the worse I have had it. I get so scared I will freeze up and cant move, then here comes the darn HEART Thing, pounding and skipping away.The last couple of months have been so hard and I feel like I am going to go over the edge or die. The feeling suxs big time and is hard to deal with. The Dr want to give this round of meds more time to work. I want them to work right now. But know it does take time. At times I feel like I am holding on my my little finger. I just want a normal life once more. Not sure what threw me backwards this time. I thought all was going well. Then one day all went down the drain.Just tried of it all. I did get a new Dr as the other one made me even more panic, Go Figure... I do like this one so think we will get along just fine. The old one I just butted heads with and my mouth would get rolling. Just was not a nice Dr. Just hope this heart thing does not get to me anymore then it already has. I think that is one of the hardest things to handle at this point in time. I know I am down to the line in taking control and holding on to it. With the meds I know I have to take some control as well. Thanks for those who listened here. I just needed to vent and is not always easy to vent and have someone, anyone that does or would understand the feeling.

Elite Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 1/9/2008 8:47 AM (GMT -6)   
Mia........Yes you are so right ppl here do understand
I am going to be 54 soon and my heart racing and pounding is scaring the life outta me
Commen sense tells me it is my a/p but my other sense is making me sick with worry over it
I have had all the tests done and I do get heart palps but this just doesnt feel right
I think I was starting to think about my mom passing at 65 early age really ....and it got me going more

I had taken ( weaned with docs ok) off of my valium and was doing great but with all the family crud and Moms passing anni coming up I am having a rough go of it ........

WE will get thru this so many of us here KNOW exactly what you are feeling ..and it is not fun at all
Please know you can come here to VENT any time and get support and understanding all the time

Take care
Let us know how things are going
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Moderator,Anxiety/Panic, Alzheimers,Co Mod for Crohns                     

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 79
   Posted 1/9/2008 4:19 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Lyn

Thank you for you wonderful and kind reply. WOW!! kind of looks like we are going through the samething. The date of my moms passings is close by as well. But thinking of her alot. Is had not to and I know that has to add to my a/p. Is amazing what stress and stuff like that can do to ones mind and body. I dont think I will ever get use to the heart things. The racing,pounding and skipping. Plus I have to be careful of so many meds as it take nothing really for me to have a reacion, but the kind where I end up in the ER. So new meds make me nervous as well.

Had all the heart test done all looks good, so they are saying stress, stress and with having a/p does not help and just adds to. When I get the heart going I start thinking about maybe the drs are wrong and my mind blows it way out of sight and i have to try and bring myself back in. Which is not easy to do I might add. Then I think of what my mother past from even if it was many years ago and she past at age 49. I am 53.

I hope you will have an easier time of it Lyn, I know it is not easy. Really suxs most of the time when it hits. Lyn have you had your heart checked out? I know even then it is hard to put the mind at rest when Drs say stress and the good ole a/p kicking in and just keeps kicking away.

Let me know how you are doing as well. Thanks for letting me vent. :)

Take good care.

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