Have been reading posts here for a while but have only had the courage to post once before. Might be useful to tell you guys 'my story'. Have suffered from bad anxiety for 2 years now and I am currently on paroxetine (Seroxat?) 30 mg once a day. I have quite a lot of health concerns as I have cystic fibrosis and feel a lot of my axiety started around worries regarding my health, even though at the time I didn't realise I suppose. I also still feel deepdown that I don't really know all the reasons why I start panicking and feel anxious. Sometimes I start getting anxious when there seems to be no real legitimate reason at all.
Basically it all started two years ago around Xmas time and I had the worst tiime ever! Really though I was going crazy! I started obsessing about things and worrying over absolutely everything. I was anxious that I had left appliancec etc on and would need to check things and taps etc. My wonderful fiance although he found it hard was so supportive even though he felt i did push him away to run to my parents, which i know hurt him a lot. So basically I put my family through months of hell - I am so close to my parents and sister and I no it upset them as they could see me suffering and could do nothing to help me. Throughout they have been so supportive and I think thats why Im feeling so guilty about all of this.
Started seeing a psychologist through my CF team and that did help some. Had ups and downs since then and again in Xmas 2006 had a slight 'blip' around Xmas where again I was quite anxious, although somewhat better than that first year.
Now 2007 has been a somewhat better year where I've felt less anxious and started to be more like the person I really am. Have felt more stable and actually had a brilliant Xmas and New Year, which surpirsed me. The last couple of days however I have started getting that horrible sick feeling back and find that I'm starting to panic over things again. Have been worrying about what mail comes through the door etc and going back to obsessing over the same old things. Tonight had friends around and found myself back in the mode where I am really edgey and feel like if I have something in my head to say I have to get it out or I feel really anxious. Guess I'm just feeeling rotten as for I while I though I was over all this panic/anxiety stuff and feel like I can't go through it all again as Im not strong enough and I know my family can't take this again. Its strange because for a lot of people when their anxious they just want to be left alone, but as soon as I get anxious I hate being alone, feel I can't cope without having someone there or being away from the house doing something.
Guess Im just lookignfor some support as feeliing really bad right now. Sorry this has turned into a ramble!