There's no one I can talk to about this, but I've been basically terrified all day. Last night it felt like an electric hand was squeezing my heart, the way you feel when a car cuts you off driving and you think you're about to rear-end them, except that it's lasting hours at a time instead of seconds. I've been glued to a chair most of the day, watching tv and crying. I'm starting night shifts tonight, and I am sitting here getting more and more terrified as I listen to the clock tick and know that I have to leave for work in a couple of hours. This started a few months ago when I graduated school and got my first job working as a nurse. Nursing is hard, lots of the more experienced nurses are kind of mean, and the hours have been brutal, but I knew all that going in to it. I don't think that other new grad nurses are having the same amount of anxiety that I am. Everyone tells me that I worry about nothing (which I know rationally) and that I will get used to my job and everything will be just fine, but these feelings of dread have only gotten worse. I'm at the point where I can hardly keep any food down, and what I do manage to keep down just goes right through me. I saw my doctor last week, and she said I might have mild depression. I also have a vitamin D deficiency. I don't want to be diagnosed with a mental disorder, but I think that my symptoms are at least bordering on the pathological and maybe if I come clean about all of them to my doctor, she will give me a prescription for something that will save my sanity--Buspar? Sorry to bother a bunch of strangers, but every friend I've tried to talk to today has just patted me on the head and told me to calm down. I really feel like I'm dying.