paranoid about sickness

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Regular Member

Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 80
   Posted 1/11/2008 1:29 PM (GMT -6)   
hello everybody, me again, i am becomming quite the regular. I hope you are all doing ok?
I went to see a doctor today and she said that because i have been on anti depressants for panic disorder for 5 months now, she wants me to start comming off them gradually in 3 months. I AM TERRIFIED. My panic disorder isn't too bad at all now, but my depression can flare up and last for weeks still, my paranoia and OCD is still something TERRIBLE. When i had panic disorder at its worst, i felt sick for about a year, really REALLY heavily nausious and didn't really dare leave my room let alone my house. Now every time i get sick from a cold or flu bug i am so scared i have the anxiety sickness back again. Like at the moment, i have just got over the worst of a cold and have been having some tummy troubles, feeling a bit sick and a bit of a tummy upset, and i have already half convived myself it is the anxiety sickness comming back and things are going to be horrible for me forever. ARGH it makes me want to scream, the circles i talk myself in.
Also, for the first time in a long time things are going well. Things look like they could really take off career wise, this person i have been so in love with since i was like 16 has started taking notice of me. I am so scared of things being ok, incase they go wrong again. Like i feel like i need to be worrying about something. I am still being ridiculous about the "HIV scare" i had a few months ago, when i recieved oral sex, even though this is low risk.
I think really i need to be back in therapy, but i didn't like the therapist i saw last time and he is the only one in my area i can see for free and i can't afford one at the moment. Also my GP changes ALL the time because at the present time i live in a small village so i have to just see who's there, so i am finding it very hard to build trust and say im struggling. I tend to go in there and just smile and say things are fine, when really, they're not.
URGH i don't know what i'm asking, i suppose i just want some advice or reasurance from someone who has been there maybe?
thanks for reading xxx

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 1/11/2008 5:13 PM (GMT -6)   
I know you live in a small place but please, find a new doctor..just because your anti-deps are working for you doesn't mean you need to come off them.  You doc sounds even loopier than mine!!
OCD is serious biz and it need good counselling, is there any chance you could get counselling advice online???? I know some very smart people on this site will be able to direct you to the right places and I'm sure they will be on soon to give input.
Try not to let those crazy thoughts take over (easier said than done I know) Try writing them down and really looking at how valid they are.......i'VE HAD SOME REALLY BIG DOOZERS MYSELF.  if you have a close friend, or someone you trust it sometimes helps to talk it through with them to see what is OCD and what is fixable.
Try not to dwell on being's a really harsh place to be in your head.  Goodluck and please keep us posted xx
I alone can do this, but I cannot do it alone. 

Elite Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 1/11/2008 5:41 PM (GMT -6)   
Above post has fantastic input I do agre with all of it and I do hope you will find a doc that will BE there for you
I have OCD and I know what you are going thru
DO NOT let your head keep doing the "stinking thinking".it will eat you away .get on here and type we are here for you k
You take care and hoping you read Megs post
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