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New Member

Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 1/16/2008 12:55 AM (GMT -6)   
We have been married for 10 years, I met my wife in the park when I was jogging, we dated she had a daughter that was living with her she was never married. She worked as a sub teacher, we started dating and moved in together her daughter moved in with her ex-
they were never married well her daughter was a real pain getting in trouble sleeping over our house and such, I would get kicked out of my own house if I would try to give advice, my wife would call the pokice if I made a big deal, My stopped working after we got married, When she did work she always said she hated to work hated people, couldn't stand
my sisters and only like my mom. We have had a boy he is 9 years old now, I am the main bread winner. I have been supporting the family with no income from her when I say anything about work my wife says then why do i need you? And we have a battle. My wife is always nagging, and *****ing about stupid stuff
like, I forgot to put the toliet seat down, I left a sock on the floor, the bed is a mess. Always something. She doesn't want my sister over our house so my sister has never been over Its another battle I am not ready for I am really pissed off. I just ignore her, My wife wanted a car bought one,m now she wants a bigger house she feels the man has to pay for everything.
A day is something like this.

I get up at about 8 take my son to school, come back home take a nap until 9:00 I do service work so I have no set hours, I then leave my wife still asleep, Work all day come home around 5:00 - 9:00 it depends upon my service jobs, I get home my wife says she sick, and is going to bed early, she has been busy taking care of the house, Never asked me about work just complains about what needs to be done
or what she needs. Its always something if its not the house is too small, its I left a cup downstairs, or I make too much noise at night, ( i work at night in the basement repairing computers as a part time job, She always acts like I am a waste and I don't do anything she never gives any sort of attention , let alone sex, thats never I have to beg. She always says
I don't feel good I am sick, Or my tooth hurts or my but is sore or I am sleepy, or I work too hard around this house on on & on. I am on my last straw i can't take it I am lost, I don't want to divorce becaus eof my son thats 9 but I am faced with a nut case that hates everything, sometimes she even says
she hates peopl and wish they were all gone. What to do?? I think deep down inside she knows she is wrong, and she tells me sometimes that she just is that way a nagger, But I can't handle it I have been thinking of divorce or cheating for about 5 years now but have not, If I get the chnace with the right people I would.

How can I get this monster under control I was thinking of see a marriage conselor ? But I don't know My long term plan is to get myself together save some hidden cash and once my son is out of school then get a divorce she will ask me why I divorced her she clueless, lives for herself shes selfish,
My wife doesn't even want to do anything that is centered around my son, it has to been fun for her too, So on a daily routine this is why its like

Nagg, Nagg, Nagg give me money, need a bigger house, cleanup the tub, drop the seat, nagg, nagg, not tonight, my back hurts, I think I have lupus, My head hurts, I think I have west nile virus, nagg, nagg, I hate your sister, go to sleep, your making too much noise, I don't feel like sex today, I am tried I raked all the leaves in the yard, You do nothing around this house, I need a new car ( I get her one ) oh thats
not alot most men buy there wives more na dmake hundred od thousand s a year, nagg, nagg, don't do this not that, my teeth hurt, I think all people should be wiped off the earth, nagg, nagg, nagg, you need to make more ???????????????

I have a room in the basement and a work shop, I sleep there and pretty much live there. What a life, My wife is a real issue whats wrong with her>>>>>>>>>

Elite Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 1/16/2008 9:21 AM (GMT -6)   
I am so sorry you are dealing with quite a bit here it seems
Welcome to HW and the great support there is here

It sounds like your wife may need to see a councillor a pdoc and her family doc to find out what is making her so angry and bitter

I know I get Nitchy ( lol) when I am not feeling well but I dont yell and dont scream all the time .......
Maybe there is something that has happened in her past that you dont know of and it has scarred her I dont know just throwing some things out there for you to think about

I DO think your son is getting the short end here as well he needs his Mom and Dad to be a loving family showing him that this is NOT the way life is ...screaming and hollering..thats not a good thing for him to grow up in
If you really cannot get to her and talk and get her to a doc then I dont know what other options you have open to you..Divorce is something on the far back burner BUT if you cannot continually live like that I am sure YOU even know that this is getting to the end ....Right
I dont see why anyone would live like that personally no happiness at all no intimacy and ( just not sex)no sense of love
I know I could not and would not live like thta
You have a few hard decisions to make my friend and I do hope that they are sooner than later so your son doesnt get more messed up in this life ya know

I will keep you in my heart thoughts and Prayers

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Moderator,Anxiety/Panic, Alzheimers,Co Mod for Crohns                     

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/16/2008 12:09 PM (GMT -6)   

Hello and welcome to HW. Lyn has given you excellent advice and she is a very wise Lady.  From reading your post I sense much animosity toward your wife.  Whatever is going on is her fault. I am sure you have thought of counseling for both of you. It does sound like you are so upset with her that your wanting out and perhaps that would be wise.

IMHO parents must put the desire to protect their children above their own needs. I sense that your son is in the middle of whatever is going on between you and his Mother. Your son is living in the drama of your everyday unhappiness. Sometimes in a relationship one person has to let go and move on. Children internalize as anxiety the on-going feuding of the parents. Your son is not in a safe place right now emotionally.  You need to put his needs into the big picture.

Just my 2 cents worth.  I wish you the best and hope you can find peace for you and for your son as well as for your wife.

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety ~ Panic  ~ Crohn's
*~* http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 241
   Posted 1/30/2008 3:22 AM (GMT -6)   
I went through the same thing. I truly wish you the best. Your wife just needs alot of support right now. If you need to talk, please email me at aol.com

Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 344
   Posted 1/30/2008 6:39 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Microbuff,

To me, it sounds like neither you or your wife feel appreciated. You indicate that you work a lot to support her and she indicates that she does all of the work around the house. But, neither feels that their contribution is fully acknowledged. It also seems to me, that in many relationships (expecially my parents) that nagging is used to "change" the other person, but in reality it doesn't work. It actually makes the other person even more resentful, while the nagger still doesn't get what they want (i.e. a little help around the house.) It also seems like you both are caught up in your own worlds, but haven't stopped to ask each other how they're doing. Marriage is a 50/50 investment, with both people contributing. Perhaps, making an appointment with a marriage counselor would be a good idea. So, both of you can express your concerns.

Elite Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 1/30/2008 7:41 AM (GMT -6)   

Just popping in to see if you are reading the posts and if you are finding ways to het help for your family.

Life is way to short and precious to have such bitterness and anger in our lives IMHO ......I have many illnesses I deal with daily with my support here and my sis Kitt.........as well as so many others

I do think you need to hear the truth and that is what ppl do put down here there is NO judgement being made we are only stating our worries about the lifestyle your son is growing up in and I am sure you do realize that as well ..........

PLEASE do post and let us know how you are making out
PPL are supporting you and your family and are worried ........so a response would be appreciated.......

God Bless and Keep You and Your Family

  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum, Anxiety/ Panic and Other Disorders
         Mod for Alzheimer's, Anxiety and Panic and Co Mod for Crohns
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