Pani-ke, IMO, It is NOT your fault about not insisting on protection because I don't think you should be the one to has to bring it up....dang, he should just do it knowing he is saving you. Sorry, but that just makes me feel like he has no remorse for messing around on you (sorry to say that since it sounds so harsh, like I said, I don't know your entire situation, but that is just how that action comes across to me). Mind you, I am a very independent, strong-minded woman and that just would not cut it with me. I hope you continue to talk about it here because in talking about it you will find more strength. I am sure someone else who actually has herpes will come along with more suggestions or be able to lay out the emotions you will go through. I think you will go through denial, hurt, anger, and then feel stronger and more in control but I don't know in what order that will happen. HE is lucky to have YOU and that you did not leave him....and dang it, he better realize that pretty fast. You did nothing wrong, and he should be worshiping the ground you walk on for even considering staying with him, let alone still having intercourse!!!!!! (there's my independent strong mind again) I also believe that YOU need to believe what I just said too. You and your feelings are worth a whole lot more than to feel like you have been betrayed, I want you to know that. Once you find the strength in yourself, you will know in your mind what is right for you, staying or leaving (and not just because you depend on him financial, EMOTIONALLY you will know what you need to do. I am glad you are both going to get counseling. It will help get to the root of WHY it happened in the first place.
cervical fusion 2006, with great result
L4-5 surgery with cages, plates, and screws in 2005, I have continued pain
MEDS: Fentanyl patch, Norco, Celexa, trazodone, and Parafon Forte
To handle yourself, use your head...to handle others, use your heart
I'm going to smile like nothing is wrong, act like everything is perfect, and pretend its not hurting me.