So tomorrow I will have officially been in California for an entire month. 3,000 miles from everyone I know and love, living basically on my own and working 40+ hours a week. I'm really proud of myself for making it this far! There was a time when just GETTING to California seemed completely impossible. I'm taking 40mg Celexa every night as well as .25mg Klonopin in the AM and the PM. It seems to be working okay. Sometimes, though, I still do have panic attacks. They aren't SEVERE and don't last terribly long, but they come on much more suddenly and out of the blue than I am used to. I know I've made improvements...For the 6 weeks before I came back out here, I averaged anywhere from 1-5 panic attacks every day. In the month I have been here in California I have had 5 panic attacks TOTAL. Week One I had 2 PA's, Week Two I had 1 PA, Week Three I had ZERO PA's, and this last week I had 2 PA's. I found that they are triggered when I am not feeling well or having a tough day from homesickness. I'm upset because I thought they were GONE and now this week hasn't gone as well as usual. Today has been a pretty icky day. No panic attacks, but just that "on edge" feeling for most of the day. I'm wondering if it could have to do with my diet? I gave up soda and didn't even have a sip from November 1st until 2 weeks ago. Now I'm back to having 2-3 sodas a week. Could this small amount be impacting my anxiety? I also had cut out salt from my diet and went back to using salt/eating salty foods again. Also, I have a
location shoot I'm supposed to go on this coming Tuesday that is bringing me anxiety. On normal work days I hop on a bus and am at work in 10 minutes. I could walk to and from work if I so chose. But this
location shoot is about
30 minutes away and I have to rely on a co-worker driving me to and from the studio. I have been so excited about
going that it didn't hit me until today to be anxious about
it. I won't know the area, where the bathrooms are, what exactly I'm going to be doing, how long my work day will be, not to mention if I have a bad panic attack I have no escape options (such as hopping on a bus to head home for the day). I hate that I have gotten back into this "headspace" again. Does it seem like I am regressing and it will get worse? Or am I just having an icky day of anxiety? Anyway, any feedback or support would be greatly appreciated. Thank you and hope you are all well!