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New Member

Date Joined Nov 2003
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 2/5/2008 3:55 AM (GMT -7)   
Hello All,
Well I woke up from a dream hot,sweaty, and in a panic. My thoughts are I'm losing my mind or lost my mind. I am freaked. I have a long hx with panic and anxiety. It all started back in 1996 March to be exact.  For three complete years I lost my life.  Constantly thinking What If and I was dying.  I thought anytime I would be passing to my next life.  Somehow through medication but very little, eating right, excercise, support groups, and lots of reading I managed to get my life back for the most part. However, I still had episodes. I am able to work through them for the most part.  I think I have finally reached my limit. Halloween my Mom Passed, in doing paperwork after her death, I found out my blood relation had stole over $50,000 from my parents.  Yes, I pressed charges. He got 30 days and three years probation...Whoopi....I have this need to protect my 78 year old father from my blood relation's acts.  Well just recently he,the blood relation supposedly lost his mind or should I say he acted that way.  Something about  when an alcoholic/addict suddenly quits they can halucinate.  He sounded convincing but my gut says it was all an act so he could have a place to stay and food in his stomach.  I don't believe you can come in and out of hallucinations and somehow remember the scientific names of animals.  Then there is the way he spoke.  Basically, I feel he is manipulating my father once again. There is a long hx with this blood relation...utterly crazyiness.  My parents always tried to fix him.  He has a hx a violence but of course it is excuseable because he was on drugs or drunk.  What ever..... I feel using is a choice...I mean no one forced you.   Whatever happen to responsibility?  As my mom was on her dead bed in the hospital with machine's all hooked up to her I  find it very dis-hearting that when this blood relation came into her hospital room that her pulse rate would jump from 68 beats per minute to 160 beats a minute.  My Mom was scared to death of him and rightfully so.  He did really mean and hateful things to my Mom.   I should of protected her.  Now,  I 'm very scared for my father and there is really nothing I can do. The only good thing is I have power of attorney. At least I can protect a little that way. However, I really don't know what really is going on. I live 3 thousand miles away in another state.  My recent conversation the blood relation is now acting as if he is in control and once again my gut says he is up to something.  I spoke with my Father told him what I felt and warned him that even though he is your son he is probally playing you again.  I warned him to watch out.  My Mom collected alot of things.  Very valuable and it would not suprise me if he tries to get his hand on some of those items and sell them for his gain.
In Nov my house flooded and well I am still in the process of getting it back to normal.  I am completly overwhelmed.  Too  much to do and not enough time. I have guests coming to stay in two weeks and I  just can't seem to get anything done. I need to finish painting, organzing, cleaning and getting the carpet put in.
And if that was not enough I am a public speaker which has it's share of anxiety.
In the past week I had to take my daughter to the ER for tonsillar abcess and deal with her anxiety and panic.
My husband is out of town for a week.
I feel helpless.

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 2/5/2008 8:17 AM (GMT -7)   

Helen Welcome to HealingWell. This is a great site. I look forward to getting to know you better.

First of all, let me reassure you, your not losing your mind.  If you were you would not know it. Your into anxiety overdrive.
I want to address your "relative"............You are right, he appears to be manipulating to get close to your Father.

If he was in alcohol withdrawal he would not be able to talk to you as you described.  I have seen these people many times and cared for them.

In severe alcohol withdrawal, the main symptoms are confusion, disorientation and agitation. Other common symptoms include intense hallucinations such as visions of insects, snakes or rats. These may be related to the environment, e.g., patterns on wallpaper that the person  would perceive as giant spiders attacking him . Unlike hallucinations associated with schizophrenia, delirium tremens hallucinations are primarily visual, but associated with tactile hallucinations such as sensations of something crawling on them.  This  is not something one can just go in and out of. 

My advice to you is to look at putting a protective restraining order on your Father to keep this person away from him.
Also there are laws that protect vulnerable adults.  You may want to check into them.
It feels to me like you have much on your plate right now and perhaps this has increased your anxiety and made you feel so awful.With all that is happening it would be normal for you to become more anxious.  Have you been through CBT training or any therapy for your anxiety? Many of the members love the CBT therapy.  There is a thread here on the site that talks of CBT :-)

You are not losing your mind.  Bless you and keep posting.
Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety ~ Panic  ~ Crohn's
*~* *~*
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~

Elite Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 2/5/2008 8:22 AM (GMT -7)   
HI there
I am so sorry
YOU are sure going thru a hades of alot
YOU are NOT losing your mind sweetie but you are getting very very stressed and rightfully so I would say........
Addicts are addicts and they can re learn to live their lives w/o the drugs or booze
I DID in 1979 and I am still sober........
Not all are successful and for that I am so sad but THEY have to want to do it for themselves IMHO and for NO other reason........
Your step bro is living with dad?...Did your dad sound scared or worriedat all and what did he say in so many words to you ( if you dont mind sharing some)........

Can you get to your doc and perhaps get something short term for the a/p just to help you thru this ?

I have my dad here for simuliar reasons plus he is terminally ill and my siblings want only what they can get nothing else IMHO.....I looked after Mom till she passed in less than 2 yrs ago and will do the same with dad........I DO feel your pain and I can tell just how frightened you really are......know this is a great supportive and loving group of ppl here that will help you thru all they can .........
Plz let us know how all is going and how you are doing in the interrim...........KNOW you are not alone in this and we can help you support and input wise........STAY with us ......God Bless....LYN
  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum, Anxiety/ Panic and Other Disorders
         Mod for Alzheimer's, Anxiety and Panic and Co Mod for Crohns Donate today to keep HW helping others

New Member

Date Joined Nov 2003
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 2/7/2008 5:20 PM (GMT -7)   

Elite Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 2/7/2008 5:22 PM (GMT -7)   
How are you making out ......
Just checking in on you

  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum, Anxiety/ Panic and Other Disorders
         Mod for Alzheimer's, Anxiety and Panic and Co Mod for Crohns Donate today to keep HW helping others

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 505
   Posted 2/7/2008 5:47 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi helen i read your thread and i am appolled that someone would try to use a elderly vunerable person like that! Thats just like taking candy from a baby!! Who ever this person is he should be ashamed of himself, which i'm sure he isn't.I have learned through previous experiences with my father who is an addict they dont care about no one but themselves! They dont care who they hurt! It sounds like to me this person did munipulate your mom, now he is trying to do the same to your dad! I would go through what ever means neccesary to protect my father if i were you because obviously he cant take care of himself! I reccomend what KItt said, i would get a restraining order against that person because it sounds like he would stop at nothing to get what he wants!!! And your poor mother she must have been terrified when he came into her hospital room that is the reason why her heart rate went up!!(Bless her heart) I am so sorry about your lost and my heart goes out to you! You have every reason to be feeling overwhelmed!!! I think like someone else said you may need to try going to the doctor and telling them your situation and see about being put on some kind of anti-anxiety med until you get over this hump!! Sorry about all the exclamation points but i am very upset and i hate to see innocent people being used and abused! Especially people who cant help themselves!!! I think people that pray on those kind of people are the biggest cowards ever!!!! And i hope he doesn't get the chance to do to your dad what he did to your mom! Dang! Be careful sweety i hope you find some kind of resolution!!!
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