Welcome to HealingWell and there is no such thing as stupid here in the forums. Your anxiety is just as painful and frightening to you as everyone else's struggle with anxiety is to them.
You may have what is referred to as Anticipatory Anxiety...........I am blessed with that one myself. Common Anticipatory Anxiety Reactions include :
Feelings: anxious, fearful, angry, confused, hopeless, losing control, numb, sad, moody, irritable, guilty.
Behaviors: withdrawal from others or activities, disrupted routines, startle reactions, easily crying
Cognitions: preoccupation with possibility of trauma, concentration difficulties, self-doubt, worry, indecisiveness, memory difficulties
Physical complaints: muscle tension, headaches, gastric distress, sleep and appetite changes, fatigue
Talking usually helps. Share your feelings with friends, family, on here are all good ways to work through the anxiety.
Relaxation techniques: Try deep breathing, muscle relaxation, visualization (imagining peaceful scenes), and/or listening to soothing music.
Realistic self-talk: While we can't always control what happens to us, we can always control what we say to ourselves. It's important to keep things in perspective. Talk to yourself in reasonable ways. Ask yourself "how likely is my fear?" Remind yourself that you have coped before during other challenging times. Don't just dwell on the negative but consciously look for things you can appreciate every day
Now to address you worries about your daughter, some people just have a more stand-offish personality. I am a hugger and my daughter is not. She never has been since she grew up. She is not a cold person but her personality is just different than mine. Try not to aniticipate that your daughter is "just like her Dad". Let her be just like herself instead.
All the way through the teen years, you'll have to guide your daughter towards adult life, gradually handing over responsibilities and independence when she shows he can manage them in a mature way. Keep in mind she is also not you, and try to guide her using a method that fits her personality. Remember every child is different.
I hope this helps and your not alone in worrying about your children. I promise you that. :)
Gentle Hugs to you
Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety ~ Panic ~ Crohn's
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