Anxiety so bad, going to ruin family holiday.

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Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 510
   Posted 2/19/2008 5:08 AM (GMT -6)   
My anxiety has creeped up so bad even though I've been taking the clonazepan and had the zyprexa increased. I don't think the anti d's working but the problem being we are meant to go away to Queensland on Saturday. I've been in tears all day today sick to my stomach feeling like screaming, like I'm losing my mind.
How can I disappoint the kids and not go, yet how can I go when all my being is screaming NO don't go. I've tried to reach my pdoc but his receptionist said he won't return calls till Friday even emergencies. I don't know who else to talk too, the usual doctors really don't have the experience to deal with this and even tell me so.
I only added in the extra 1mg of clonazepam last night but have been on 1mg in the mornings for a few weeks.
I'm going to try to talk to my case worker tommorrow see if she can get me seen by someone but I won't hold my breath, she really shouldn't be in the job any longer she has no compassion for people.
Has anyone got any ideas, even meds that will zonk me out but make me at least be able to go I'm currently on 200mgs zoloft 10mgs zyprexa 2mgs clonazepam and valium 5mgs but have plenty if needed.

Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 393
   Posted 2/19/2008 6:19 AM (GMT -6)   
dont kno bout meds, but the more you worry bout anxiety ruining your holiday the worst the anxiety wil get. Catch 22, try take it easy and get mind off holiday. When im worried bout my anxiety ruining a wkend away i tel myself tht i dnt hav todo nething i dnt wana do while im away and any1 with an anxiety disorder would worry bout anxiety getting in the way of a good time. Hope u hav great hol wish i was coming with you.


Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 505
   Posted 2/19/2008 10:01 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Aussie,

I lived in AUS for many years and remember Queens birthday as being a big family get together & BBQ. I always have anxiety when I know there are going to be a lot of people at an event & of course family can bring up old unresolved issues. I would have a couple extra valium with me & maybe try to keep myself busy by helping with the food preparation & other mundane tasks. Were it my family - I'd just watch everyone else get drunk & realise they are not even noticing my "condition". If you are really struggling - find a way to get some alone time - always helps me.

Hope this helps.


New Member

Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 2/19/2008 10:04 AM (GMT -6)   
I can not help with the meds. but sounds like you are in a bad way, wish I could give you a hug. I am not sure what you are feeling. Are you scared to go ?  My son wants me to go on a small 2 hour trip with him, And I feel terrible because I just know I cant. I start freaking out as I start thinking that there is a long stretch of no hospitals ect. As far as the doctors go I do not beleive any of them (understand) Can you get assigned a new case worker? Wish I could be of more help, but I can allways listen.

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 2/19/2008 10:21 AM (GMT -6)   


I have been where you are and actually got on the plane and went to west coast with my daughter to visit my son and his family.  I was a basket case and was fixated on coming home.  I know exactly where your at.  I had trouble packing as I was so frightened.  I actually did fly home alone 4 days earlier than the rest but once I knew I was headed home I just took my meds and made it back home to my safe area.

With a lot of med changes and therapy I am now able to go without the anxiety.

In your case sweetie, I would use the Valium as it is the longest acting.  If you feel anxious, let the tears out, it is like letting off built up steam.  I would wake up in tears and I had not even gotten out of bed. 

Try deep breathing, sitting in the warm sun with a cup of something.  Make time and a private place for you on this trip and please don't try to keep it all to yourself.  Hiding the anxiety is just driving it higher.  Let someone know you are having issues and you do need some space. 

Many gentle hugs to you


Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety ~ Panic  ~ Crohn's
*~* *~*
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 510
   Posted 2/19/2008 10:34 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for the replies everyone. I'm heading up to see my normal doc today as theres no one else I can see. I found the higher bit of clonazepam has helped slightly so don't know whether to up it ir take more zyprexa. I'm getting a lot of bad thoughts because my system is constantly wired.
My case worker rang me and said think of the kids, you've got to do things for your kids. That was a great guilt trip on me, doesn't she understand that I feel so because all I can do is think of my kids.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 510
   Posted 2/20/2008 4:37 AM (GMT -6)   
Well I saw my doctor and she said to me " I don't know what to do with you" How is that suppose to make me feel? I've been in tears and my mind won't stop going over and over.
She did say to try doubling the clonazepam to 4mgs a day and add some extra zyprexa if needed. I'm so scared I'm really dropping down and ddon't know who to turn to when your doctor can't even help you.

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 2/21/2008 4:54 PM (GMT -6)   

Hi Aussie,

I just recently went thru the exact same thing.  My husband and I planned a trip and he was really looking forward to it, but because of a chronic illness I have, it sent me straight to anxiety ville.  I was taking Valium and it was helping a little, but not enough.  Doc changed me to Xanax, which really really helped. 

I just returned from my trip this past Tuesday.  I want you to know that I had the best time ever.  All that worry and anxiety, and everything turned out so wonderful.  I think my husband and I even bonded closer.  During the entire time I took the Xanax 1 in the morning and 1 in the night, and I didn't have any problems.  Maybe you can ask your doc about that, it really helped me alot. I am no longer taking it, but know that if that ol anticipatory anxiety acts up again, I have the correct medication.  Plus I will soon start some therapy.

I hope you get some relief from your doc and are able to go on your family holiday and enjoy your time with them.

God Bless,

Gail *Nanners*

Been living with Crohn's Disease for 32 years.  Currently on Asacol, Prilosec 60 mg, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain and Calcium.  Resections in 2002 and 2005.  Recently diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and doing tests to see if I have Inflammatory Arthritis or AS.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 505
   Posted 2/21/2008 7:41 PM (GMT -6)   
I am so sorry Aussie,i know exactly how you feel! I havent traveled in about 5 years and have backed out of many trips and had to dissapoint alot of people! At first i use to feel guilty but i looked at it like this,would they rather me back out or go and everybody having to cut their trip short because of me.Also i cant help who i am and what i'm going through.My husband gets upset alot, because we use to travel alot,not neccessarily really long trips but maybe 1or 2 hour drives and now i cant even do that the fear is just so overwhelming! I cant even go see my family and they only live 2 hours away! I haven't tried it since being on Xanax though,maybe i should but the thought scares me out of mind.I just cant bare being away form my comfort zone that long! Because i know if i go i would least stay a weekend and i dont think i would really enjoy myself from worrying! I know how you feel though about not wanting to disappoint your kids,that's a tough spot to be in. Being that they are not adults they probably dont understand and all they want to do is go!But if it comes down to the fact that you cant make it,maybe you all dont neccessarily have to councel the trip just push it up to a later date.I hope everything works itself out and you are able to make it!
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