Thanks. I can definatly appreciate your attentiveness to what I first wrote.
But, actually its not that simple. I "did" see a doctor. He was my ortho and he gave me a 3 month prescript
ion and then said go to your PCP when that ends... which it wont for another 2 weeks. My mom doesnt know how I feel because she kind of cut me off when I tried telling her. I havent tried since then. I tell her constantly that she doesnt have to yell to try to calm down... that seems to be very hard for her. We all know she is unhappy, she tells us..
I dont see a therapist. However, I greatly wish that I did. I actually asked my mom for one this past summer for my 16th b-day present! Yea.. she basically said I was just talking crazy. And I told he rI was depressed... she said it would pass... then she said we all go through it... then she said good me too... by then I knew not to say it again, I could tell she was getting upset about
it. To be honest, we really dont talk to each other. My family is not close at all. Its just like we all live here and fight with each other, but nothing else. Its hard to tell if they really care, they dont show it anyways...
I tried writing a letter before, but my mom isnt like that. She isnt understanding and she wouldnt take it seriously, ya know. She never does. She doesnt see what it does to us. I have Fibro and so it seems to be harder on me. It affects how I feel everyday. She thinks its just about
having joint pain, but no one realizes that it is so much more than that. They have no idea the mental pain I have suffered through for so long. I have no choice but to deal with it myself, and I have been for a very long time... I have made some progress... but I have come to accept that I cant fix it...
I appreciate your help. Its really hard for me to talk to people and I am not comfortable discussing my feelings with people, thats why its so hard for me to get help from someone. (like my friends, school counselor, or teacher) btw, I have tried all of those. I just cant seem to be able to talk to them about
it... I kind of feel like I am the problem. And I dont want to put it on anyone else....
But, thanks so much for your help. I really appreciate it. I have alot to think about
"Healing is an energy phenomenon. Hope is another
word for Healing.
"Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart
no matter how strong you are"
"Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"
"Im going to
smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me."