not fitting in

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Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 491
   Posted 2/22/2008 2:45 PM (GMT -6)   
i feel i don't fit in this world , i know i am a odd person, but i am lovely and would help anyone, but to extent in some cases, not where i will get taken advantage off , like most of my life that has happen, its hard to find a friend that is just a friend and not a user, i mean i have one friend where i'll ask to keep her daughter because i what too, not because someone whats to find a person to dump there kid off and disappear past when they where supposed to be back, a friendship i know is a give and take relationship but most of mine where take take take, never giving back, i sometimes think i protrude this out of myself to be taken advantage off, i wish i could figure out how to change it, to make matters worse my husband still is ignoring me most of the time and the physical relationship is down to maybe once a month, it hurts me so bad, my parents since my anxiety has started don't seem to what to be around me at all, they don't what to be bothered, they think the anxiety is in my head only, where do i belong in this world i feel so alone, most of my life my mom told everyone that i was a mistake and she wanted a abortion but my dad said someone in the family might find out, i think it damaged me to believe i am worthless and shouldn't be here, my husband thinks that if he works that all i need from him and its not, i need to feel like a wife, not a servant, i am sorry to unload but i am really sad and depressed, i am tired of telling my husband that things need to get better, i am scared i am pulling away, and once i go to far i relationship will be unfixable,

thanks for listening

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 505
   Posted 2/22/2008 3:36 PM (GMT -6)   
HI Machelle sweety,First of all i think most kind hearted people can relate to what you are talking about! Like you and BabyT stated,i too have had my kindness taken for a weakness as well! It doesnt feel good! Instead of people embracing your goodness they find ways to take advantage of it! I often ask myself why are people so cruel and i still havent came up with an answer! When i was in school i was the type of person who always tried to be good to people and share with people! Then it seemed like people just started taking what ever they wanted from me and then leaving me,only to come back when they needed me again.And like the good hearted person i am i was always there to help them again! After a while i started feeling wore down and stepped on like a doormat, like BabyT said.I was always somewhat of a loner especially in school.I always had maybe one or two good friends! Because like yourself i always felt awkward and like i didn't fit in! Looking back i had alot of anxiety even back then! But once i got out of school and started to find myself i became mentally stronger! I decided that it had been about everyone else for years it was time that i started letting it be about me now!! I still help people but i evaluate people alot more now before i decide to help them! All those years of being used and abused i learned how to reconize when people really liked me or whether they was trying to get something out of me! And believe me,i still get tricked sometimes but not half as much as i use too.You have to decide whether you want to keep making other people happy and you not be happy,or if your gonna concentrate on #1.Thats you! You cant keep sacrificing your own happiness to please other people who will more than likely never appreciate it! As far as your husband goes,my husband and i are kind of in a bad spot as well,but we have both made the decision to try to change some things! If both parties are not willing to change then you are basically fighting a losing battle! I often tell my husband it takes more than finances to build a solid foundation.If you have alot of money and no love then what do you really have!! Money comes and go but true love is always here to stay! That is a good way to put your marriage to the test,running out of money and struggling to make ends meet.Two people that love each other they will get frustrated but they will usually put their heads together and come up with a solution! Two people who dont really love each other will usually get so frustrated to the point they will bail out because the money was the only thing holding them together i the first place! Anyway i hope everything will work out for you Love,i hope i didnt bore you too much!

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 2/22/2008 6:43 PM (GMT -6)   

Hey there,

You need to believe in yourself and your self worth.  Please work on turning that thinking around.  You are a good person and people are lucky to have you in their lives.  Work on building up your self esteem.  You are who you think you are, others cannot dictate who you are.

Hugs to you

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety ~ Panic  ~ Crohn's
*~* *~*
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~

Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 491
   Posted 2/22/2008 11:26 PM (GMT -6)   
thanks, its nice to know i am not in the boat alone about people, my husband even ask me sometimes why don't i try to make more friends i have and they all seem to turn sour, its like i am a magnet to those types, plus it does not help i live in the middle of nowhere, i try to pick myself up but when the people around you think should love you don't it hurts, i feel bad saying all this when people like skitt and some of the others have so much to deal with, i really care about you guys even though i never met you, its nice to have someone listen and understand and not judge.

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