Out of control

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New Member

Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 2/23/2008 2:08 PM (GMT -6)   
Good afternoon, all. 
Please let me start with why I am here.  I was assaulted several months ago and have been experiencing non-stop anxiety, worry and fear ever since.  The anxiety comes from fear of disease from the assault.  I have been tested repeatedly and so far, so good, but what happens is that every time I get close to the end of a waiting period for the next test, something always happens to throw me back into full panic and anxiety.  For example, I went to get labwork done yesterday and have been comsumed by fear that the technician used a dirty needle.  Another example is that I have been washing my hands so much after touching things, they peel from all the soap and water.  I am consumed with this anxiety.  It has ruined relationships in my life and I feel like I am losing it.  I have seen 2 psychologists that had intended to send me to a psychiatrist, but I got so upset with both of them for not addressing the problem at hand and rather wanting me to talk about my childhood, parents, etc. (which were normal) and charge me for that instead of the current problem.  Can anyone suggest a good prescription I can try for anxiety.  My gp put me on Lexapro and that made the problem so much worse I can't even begin to tell you how bad it really was.  Thanks for your time and responses.

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 2/23/2008 2:24 PM (GMT -6)   

Hello Badhariday,

I am so sincerely sorry for the pain and suffering your going through.  Remember you have done nothing wrong and no one should ever be abused.  We are here to help you.

What dose is your Lexapro? There are many other meds and some that are targeted for anxiety, the benzodiazapines.  Are you on any of these, Xanax, Ativan, Valium.  If not you may want to talk to your Pdoc about adding a med.
I understand your fear of becoming exposed to an type of exposure, a dirty needle but I am sure they are using brand new needles in the lab.  If you feel more comfortable, ask if you can open the wrapping on the syringe............I would think a good lab tech would understand and at least let you help open it or put it directly in front of you so that you could see it is a new syringe.

Stick with us and keep posting.  We are kind and caring and we will take your hand and help you through this.


Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety ~ Panic  ~ Crohn's
*~* http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~

New Member

Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 2/23/2008 5:29 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you, Kitt.
I was on 10mg of Lexapro and it made my anxiety so much worse than before I started taking it.  I also had suicidal thoughts constantly.  I am not on anything right now, but for my family's sake, I think I should be.  My children have noticed a change in me and I don't want them to experience anything like this so I try to put on a smile and go on with the day.  Thank you so much for your kind words, I was at such a loss this morning. 

Elite Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 2/24/2008 3:20 PM (GMT -6)   
HI There and Welcome
Kitt has really given you some great input on this and I do hope you will talk to your doc about giving you something to help you thru all of this
I am sure all your tests will be neg...think positive about it and yes have faith  
I think a short term on a benzo like ativan klonopin or valium ( many others) may help you BUT I am not a doc only he can tell you
THIS is NOT your fault in any way shape or form and you need not to live like this for ever........there is help out there
Talk to your doc be honest and ask if you must for something straight up.........

I wish you all the best and plz keep us posted on how you are doing

  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum, Anxiety/ Panic and Other Disorders
         Mod for Alzheimer's, Anxiety and Panic and Co Mod for Crohns
    www.healingwell.com Donate today to keep HW helping others

New Member

Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 2/27/2008 3:31 PM (GMT -6)   

Hello everyone.

I got my results back - *negative* YEAH! 

I am trying very, very hard to let the worry go about the needle used for the test and I realize this is a demon I cannot fight alone.  I am making the appt. with my doctor (a wonderful man who has held my hand through this whole ordeal) to get on medication for anxiety.  Thank you all so much for helping me.  I felt isolated, alone and terrified. 

I do have a question for you, though.  Lately, I  have noticed my blood pressure is always high (where it was low before).  When I say high, I mean the other day while at rest, it was 190/100.  Is this most likely caused by the anxiety alone?

Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 146
   Posted 2/27/2008 3:46 PM (GMT -6)   
This is such a terrible thing that has happend to you. However, even though it sounds cliche', what does not kill us makes us stronger, perhaps different...but stronger. You are still here. I myself had a horrible exp when I was first put on anti-anxiety meds. I swore I would never swallow another pill. However, being sick with anxiety and fear is not an option either. I also agree with the suggestion of a benzo, perhaps along with another SSRI. This worked for me in the end :) But just to re-iterate, I am not a Dr. I recommend a psychiatrist, they are the experts, and I did not start to get better until I got in their care.

your not alone, what you feel is real, and none of us can help being this way.
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