Thanks all! You guys rock! When I told him it felt like the most natural thing in the world. I wasn't nervous or anything. In fact the whole discussion started 'cause I explained what my light box was. I told him about SAD and it seemed like he had trouble believing it was a real thing that I had been diagnosed with it. So, I explained what I was like beforehand and how much it has helped me. Then, I explained that my therapist was the one who suggested using the light box and further explained that I see her every other week for anxiety and depression. I think that took him a bit off-guard to, since it seemed like he couldn't quite believe that a therapist could help. But, I explained that since I've moved here I've lost my strong support network of family and friends, so she more or less just gives me another perspective of anything that I want to talk about. Then, he said something like, "but you pay her?" I said "yeah, but my insurance covers it and it helps!"
It's funny once I told him I was on an anti-depressant he said something similar to me badgenetics like "well, your part of the over medicated majority." But, I explained to him what I was like before - I would stay in my house and not want to leave. I would cancel any plans I had, 'cause I just didn't want to be around anyone. I had no interest in doing anything and anything I once enjoyed I couldn't care less about. I stayed in bed for an entire week and never even changed my clothes or took a shower. Yuck! I'm so much more balanced and self-assured now. Before I was a complete push-over and wouldn't speak up for myself. My self-esteem had never been lower. Now, I'm much more assertive and feel much more like my normal self. But, the thing is, one of the side-effects of celexa is mania. So, my therapist is working on trying to figure out if I should be diagnosed as bipolar instead.
Thank you Kitt for saying exactly what I needed to hear. I do trust him and I do like him A LOT! The whole thing feels so right, I don't second guess myself, it just seems like we should be together. I feel so comfortable, safe, and protected when I'm with him. I also feel respected, understood, and empowered.
1. No discussion of any illegal activity or threats of violence. (ie. illicit drug use, including medical marijuana use, threats of suicide or self-injury, or threatened or intended physical harm). Discussions of suicide or self-harm that are deemed negative and therefore potentially injurious to others are also not permitted.
I want to be understanding and compassionate, but I'm so torn. I mean it's illegal and I work for the government! Plus, I'm sure when I do go to therapy on Wednesday, my therapist will be extremely disappointed, since I've jumped in with both feet and can't get enough of him.
Lastly, I haven't been in a completed relationship in a really long time and he really hasn't ever really dated. So, in between one of our mad passionate sessions, I asked him if he considers what we're doing as "dating." (I admit it didn't even cross my mind until one of my friends asked me where I thought it was going (i.e. boyfriend, friends w/benefits, dating, etc.) Until then, I was just really enjoying what we had going on, taking proper precautions and acting like mature adults, since I tend to freak out whenever committment is mentioned. But, he said something like, "I hadn't given it much thought, but if one of the people involved think that they're dating I guess they are." Not exactly the answer I was hoping for, but like I said I hadn't really thought about it either.
** Sad.....Had to Edit according to rules .PLZ email me if any questions k ....Thanks for your understanding and I am so hoping all will work out and you will FINALLY be happy....**Luvs
Post Edited By Moderator (Howlyncat) : 2/27/2008 6:43:20 AM (GMT-7)