I'm a member of the depression forum. I've had depression and anxiety for the past 4 yrs. It started my freshman yr of undergrad but then got better. It has gotten better being on Zoloft.I was able to graduate in 4 years with a Biology degree. However, my depression got worse 2 months after starting grad school this past August. The past few months, alot had been going on in my life. I moved to another state..a 19 hr drive away for grad school, I got more depressed,got pregnant from a guy who I didn't know too well, had an abortion when I found out I was pregnant during Christmas break (when I came home) so family found out, failed a class my first semester of grad school (was not allowed to continue with the program since I failed one class), and cried alot from an emotionally abusive ex-bf who I met in undergrad. I'm living with my parents now for the semester until I go back to grad school end of July. They want me to study the class I failed 5 hrs each day, but I just haven't been motivated since I've been home for 6 weeks. They get mad at me when I'm not motivated and they keep telling me I ruin their lives and I'm going to fail again if I go back. I'm 23 years old and I feel like they still control me. They don't want me working this semester, but just taking the class and studying. I am taking the same class (easier version) at a community college here at home and it's alot easier than the class at my grad school. They pressure me to study the more difficult version every day, they won't let me tell friends I'm home (because they're embarassed by the situation). All I do is work out and take the class. My supposed "spring break" is in 2 weeks and I am allowed to tell friends I'm home that week, but they're going to hide the car in my grandma's garage since my grad school is too far to drive home for just a week. I feel like they're ashamed of me :-(
Earlier today when I was at the gym, the receptionist told me to come back to the desk after my workout to get my fingerprint instead of having my card to check in. Since I had been a member for a month the gym doesn't use cards anymore but fingerprints. As soon as I was done with my workout, there was a new receptionist there. He was really cute. I got really nervous and said, my card expired, so I was just wondering if I could As soon as I said that my face got bright red and he kind of smiled. He probably thought I was mentally retarded. What I meant to say was can I get fingerprinted? Not, can I get He probably thought I was either retarded or being overly flirty/dirty with him. I noticed that when I'm nervous sometimes I mess up words, or sometimes my mind goes blank. For example, this past first semester of grad school, I had to perform a task in front of a professor, and I messed up. I did fine when he wasn't watching me, but I messed up when he was. I was just wondering if there is seriously something wrong with me or if this is just anxiety? Also, since the abortion and during the pregnancy I've had major fatigue (sleeping 10 hrs a day) and crying spells. Is this normal? My psychiatrist prescribed wellbutrin and zoloft for me. I'm supposed to start the wellbutrin tomorrow. I didn't tell her about the gym incident since I saw her yesterday, and this happened today. I was just wondering what you thought about it. Please help!
Post Edited By Moderator (Howlyncat) : 3/7/2008 9:10:44 AM (GMT-7)