I upped my Effexor and Im feeling a little down the last couple of days...but Im waiting for the feeling to pass.
Tomorrow I am going to see my bf in the states so Im looking forward to that,,,but dreading the bus ride.
I kinda feel like I am been in a up and down cloud for the last 2 weeks...its kinda scary but Im hoping it will go away.
Other than that I had a crazy panic attack last night I thought for sure it was the end. I called my boyfriend and he read to me on the phone until I feel asleep, no joke with the phone to my ear LOL.
I think I kinda figured out the reason why my anxiety has been so bad. Since the summer I put on about 35 pounds and have become really insecure. I think everytime I think about something i think about it through the eyes of my insecure self and I question what Im thinking.
Like I dread running into old people...or even spending time with my closest friends because Im afraid of what they are thinking. When ever I am walking down the street I walk with my head down so that If I did run into someone they wont see me. It actaully makes me sad to write this...:(
I dont know if it is the reason...Im sure gaining weight for alot of woman is hard...I think I just feel like Im floating away more and more from the person I used to be and turning into this anxisious person every day.
But other than all of that..>Im okay :)