Alright so this is what happened:
I've been feeling "Weird" for a month... it would take me too long to go into what I mean by that. Anyway I went to see my GP, who decided to order a CAT scan of my brain... I get there and wait for an hour only to be told that the Dr. made a mistake and I really needed a brain MRI... talk about freaking me out... that was a very unpleasant experience I might add.
I was told that the results would be in by today so I call this AM and wait for a return call... a nurse calls at 1:30 apologizing for the delay but their system is "down" and they will call me when it's back up (which I'm assured will be shortly), 3pm rolls around and I call back and ask what's going on, I'm placed on hold and then told that someone will call me (I'm getting progressively more nervous) I explain that I have anxiety and she tells me that she will personally give the request to the nurse. I wait (all the while convincing myself that they haven't called back because they are trying to figure out how to break the news to me) 4:15 rolls around - still no call. I've had diarehha (sp?) 6 times and feel as though I will pass out. I call back and am once again placed on hold - the girl comes back to the phone to tell me that the Doc will call me once he's seen all his patients... I start crying and ask why the nurse can't just give me the results as I've always been given results by the nurse. I'm told that the Dr. wants to speak with me and will call me around 5 ish. I hang up, call my Mom and have her talk me off the roof... oh yeah I'm at work at this point. Anyway I had to go to a parents meeting for my son's track team and I "MISS THE DOCTORS CALL" while I'm in the meeting!!!!!!!!!!!! Can you believe that, anyway his message says, "the results from you MRI look ok and we will discuss this further during your appointment on friday"... what the HECK does that mean. "OK"... I needed him to proclaim in song that I am completely healthy and have the best looking brain he has ever seen. My interpretation of his message was - "well things look ok (meaning you're not gonna die today) but oh yeah you do have giant lesions all over your brain and therefore you will probably suffer with MS for the rest of your days"
Could someone please tell me why in God's name I have to catastrophize everything and how can I become the person who says "worrying isn't going to change it so I'm not going to worry" For God's sake I was nearly debilitated by my fear today.... please help me!!!!! I have been doing this kind of thing to myself for 10 years... I've had enough...