So I woke up this morning felling pretty good. Actually this whole week has been decent. I work for my local NBA team and was able to work the game on Friday night with limited responsibilities, and a 3 hour appearence yesterday. Mid-afternoon yesterday I had a panic attack, full of my heart beating through my chest, clammy hands, tingling arms and legs etc.. It took about an hour to feel better and was glad I was able to make it to church last night. Did some shopping with my mom this afternoon, which was well. But once again, around 4 this afternoon I felt some anxiety creeping up. I layed on the couch and ending falling asleep for a couple hours. My friends talked me into going to the casino tonight to play bingo. I was meeting them there, and of course I arrived first, ALONE, and they called and said they were lost and may be late. The anxiety creeped up again, but I managed for the 3 hours I was there. Just got home a little bit ago and started crying, bad. Not sure why, but I know in the back of my head that after I visit my physchiatrist on Tuesday he will probably release me back to work for Wed. (I have been on Short term disability since March 11) Just here because I know this family is so supportive and I'm just so confused and frustrated right now. I want to go back but I think I'm scared to. I'm not sure if I am ready and don't know what to do. I AM LOST... I'm sure just like the rest of you, I just want to be "normal" again. This feelings can be unbearable at times..
Thanks for all you thoughts, support and love,