Hi Cosmo Girl,
Yes, I asked myself that question about 11 years ago when I had my first anxiety attack. It has taken sometime, but I realize that my anxiety is a part of me, just like my personality. While I am fine and can function most of the time, anxiety is something that I have to deal with from time to time. I recently had an anxiety attack while being overseas in China which forced me to come home early, but instead of asking why did this happen to me, I ask, what can I learn from it? After much reflection, I have concluded that it is not a good idea for me to go overseas, because if I get an anxiety attack in a foreign land, it only exacerbates my anxiety.
As for yourself, I think that it's great that you can join a safe place (this forum) to share your struggles. However, in addition to the forum, if you haven't done so already, I would suggest that you talk to somebody you trust and will not judge you. Perhaps it is a close friend, maybe your pastor, or a close relative. I find that the direct person to person communication to be very therapeutic. As I said before, I returned home early from China just recently. Upon returning, I immediately contacted my friend who is also a counselor and shared my experience. He already knows that I am prone to anxiety, and after having talked about it a number of times, I am on my way to being healed.
I pray and hope that you are doing better and that you respond to let us know how you are doing.