Hi Anxiety Ridden
Well done, that is so cool getting accepted into the school in NYC! You sound like you have been doing everything you can to move forward and in life and to help you cope with the panic/anxiety so what have you got to lose? Worst case scenario you give it a go then decide it is not for you for whatever reason and leave. At least then you can feel proud that you have tried it.
Has anybody else with anxiety made a big life change like this? Is there anyone who can give me some advice? I don't know if I should just forget it and accept that I am limited because of my anxiety...or just give it a try and hope it works out! - This comment by you really struck a personal chord with me. I have suffered from anxiety/panic since very young, I am now 39. Like you and many on this forum it is a constant fight but it does not mean that we should let it stop or limit us doing some of the things that we want to in life. I had a major life change 5 years ago and moved from the UK to Australia which I had never visited before. I left my job of 14 years, my home, my 2 beautiful cats and my family behind to do this. Like you I was terrified at the prospect and had a bad time coping beforehand but I did get beyond the fear and panic and got on the plane. I gritted my teeth and once here just kept telling myself that I could go home if things were really bad etc.
One of the most important things that kitt said is so very true and something I am trying to do currently (as I am going through my biggest challenge so far) is to try and STAY IN THE MOMENT. Once you let your mind wander and start thinking about
the uncertainty of the future, how you are going to cope when this and that happens it just makes you feel ten times worse. So it is a great suggestion to try and do this, don't think beyond what you have to do today if possible.
The other thing that bothered me about
your post was your parents attitude. I had exactly the same thing from my mum and dad when I told them I was moving to Australia. My mum actually said to me "maybe you are the type of person that cannot live outside of their own city and too far away from us etc", so you are not the only one to experience this. Actually what I would like you to consider is that it is their insecurities and fear of you moving away from them that is making them talk this way and not their view of you!! Maybe they are scared of you leaving them, not the other way around? Certainly with my mum those words stuck with me and currently although I am going through hell and my mum has said 'why don't you just come home to the UK' her negative comments previously are actually giving me strength and I am thinking I am darned if I am going to give up and go home however hard it is to be here on my own!! Maybe thinking like this might help you to prove them wrong. Just a thought from my own experience.
Anyway, my main point is that if I and many others can do these things whilst struggling with chronic anxiety and panic issues then surely you can as well. You sound like you are totally facing up to your fears and trying - please don't limit yourself because of the anxiety. I have needed a major push and some very tough love at times but in the end have managed to do more than I thought with my very limited self belief so why would you not give it a go.
Post Edited (Honey Bee) : 4/18/2008 4:57:16 AM (GMT-6)