hi there I haven't been on the site for a while because I guess my anxiety and fears started to go away or atleast I thought i had it under control for a while, but I know its come back and full blown again, it's definately feels like the first time everytime you have a panic attack or stress comes into your life.
For me things were going good I still had the anxious feeling before starting work or getting on the bus, but I controlled them alot better than now.
I sit here wondering what and how it all started again, and well i believe its from stress, I started a new job and things were really looking good, until I had a horrible night out drinking, and ended up in a bad situation, and broke my ankle. Now I have been off work a month now and sitting home everyday, crying, feeling frusterated that i did what i did, I have tons of anxiety, and fearful thougths along with feeling a bit depressed. Then again the other night i went out with drinking came home in a really good mood, and then started freaking out on my boyfriend you didn't derserve it at all, and had a huge anger attack. And of course the next day major anxiety and depression and wondering why i do the things i do, and is it normal? The one thing i have realised is that i have to lay of the drinking for a while, and try and get back on track, but my question is how do you get over the guilt, and stop questioning if i am normal or not, because i have noticed that i have developed phobias that i never use to have and constantly have racing scary thoughts that make you think you are on the verge of losing it! , I read all these post and know that i am not alone but its so scary to constantley be obsorbed in what if thinking... and wondering if i am normal. I have read on this so many times but when you are going through so much anxiety and anxious thinking it so hard to convince yourself that you are not losing it and that i wont act out any of the fearful thoughts that i am having? Is this truly just anxiety? I just want to stop obsessing and worrying constantly about all the things I fear, I am currently reading Lucinda's book from panic to power! It's a great book but it just seems i'm not letting anything obsorb. Can anyone relate is stress triggering all this anxiety ? Thanks so much Jen