I visited a therapist for the first time (previously had only been seeing a psychiatrist.)
I don't know, man.
Asking all these questions about "risky behavior," impulsive behavior, self-harm, suicidal thoughts, "inability to express anger," feeling anti-social, and some stuff that I do that I can't discuss here....
She said something about how "the anxiety makes so much sense."
I'm worried she's going to drop the personality disorder diagnosis on me. I've always known I'm probably borderline and maybe schizoid. I'm a psych minor, so I know a lot about both and the diagnostic criteria for them, and I swear, the questions were all so geared toward both disorders. Which would make sense, since she works in the same office as my psychiatrist and she had a pretty good point to start with...
It's just kinda scary — personality disorders are so hard to treat because they're such ingrained, psychological things that can rarely, if ever be treated with medication. If anxiety was my only problem, even bipolar, at least meds could make me feel more stable. But she ruled out BP today.
Needed to vent.