I remember you and I thank you so much for your support and you are right, having support and remembering that it will get bettter has gotten me through this bad spell. I have had 2 good days now and I will continue to move forawrd and not look back.
I will slay the dragons as I meet them and do my best to keep the anxiety at bay. I also will let myself feel, and know that I will have some bad times but try not to let the anxiety cause me to freeze up and become so afraid.
I could write a book on the discoveries I have made about how much my retirement has taken ahold of my depression and dumped me so low but I have come to terms now with a lot of those feelings. They do creep back in when I am feeling down but I know I wear many caps and I am still a nurse even thow I am now retired from hospital/ER nursing. It took me a long time to figure out what I was so very sad about as people say retirement are the golden years and I was only finding rust.
I set my expectations of retirement way to high. I am learning now to not rush through the years but slow down and appreciate what I have. One of the best things I have is HealingWell.
Thank you so much for your support.
We live in a small town and as I worked in the community for so many years my fear centers around running into people who will ask me how I am enjoying my retirement and what have I been doing? I have to pretend that I am fine when inside I am so sad and fighting to hold on to the tears and not breakdown in public. I tell them I am enjoying my retirement. I even will go down a different aisle in the store if I see someone I don't want to visit with due to anxiety.
I start to feel anxious at the thought of leaving my house and going where I may run into people I know.
I do fine on a trip as no one knows me or knows how I had a major meltdown so no questions that I have to put on a happy face to answer.
I have driven home in tears after seeing someone I used to work with and I feel like an outsider now. I know I own the problem and it is not anyone being mean or nasty, they are just being friendly.
I have made some great strides in getting past the anxiety and I am learning to accept myself the way I am and only learn from each episode of anxiety.
Hugs to all of you
Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety ~ Panic
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~