I was diagnosed as bipolar back in 1994 when Zoloft pushed me into mania but did not know until this year what being bipolar really entailed for me. I began suffering from anxiety in Feb 07 but did not see a psychiatrist until Jun due to insurance issues. He put me on Geodon and kept increasing the dosage whenever I complained of increasing anxiety and depression. In Feb 08 I saw a different psych as #1 psych wasn't doing anything except increasing Geodon which I thought was causing my depression and anxiety to increase. My new dr put me on Lamictal and left me on Geodon. In the following few weeks my anxiety increased to an intolerable, incapacitating level. I use my own personal scale of anxiety 1 to 10 with 10 being incapacitating and in late Mar mine was beyond a 10. My sister took me to the ER for evaluation and after a shot of Cogentin (I think), a prescription for Xanax, and a visit to another psych filling in for my doc who gave me Depakote, I was sent home. (Forgot to mention that thinking back now I can't remember much of the two days before I went to the ER). I went home and slept for three days (I think I took the Xanax which caused me to sleep). On the follwing Mon I went to work but don't remember it. Called my sister who once again took me to the ER where they admitted me to their psych unit. I was out of my mind with anxiety. Remember only about two hours total of a 7 day hospitalization for extreme anxiety. I also don't remember much of the two days after I was released from the hosp. I was off work another week then worked part time for two weeks, now I'm back full time. Even after getting out of hosp, my anxiety returned and was back up to a 10. Finally, he gave me Zyprexa which was the only thing that touched my anxiety. I now take Lamictal, Lexapro, Depakote, and Zyprexa. He is tapering me off the Lexapro. I hate that the Zyprexa makes me hungry all the time - I had recently lost 20 lbs. For me anxiety feels like the feeling you might have when you get a call that a loved one has been in an accident and you don't know how bad it is and you are rushing to the hospital. I don't really have any questions, I just needed to tell my story. Within two hours of taking my first 10 mg of Zyprexa, my anxiety began to wane. I would like to hear that someone has taken 5 or 10 mg of Zyprexa and it did not make them gain weight. If I have to live with the weight gain, I will rather than suffer the hell of anxiety like I had 6 weeks ago. I feel like Girl, Interrupted. People tell me things that happened right before, during, and after my hospitalization and I say "I don't remember."