First of all, don't be afraid, things can and will get better. For me, and this is something you'll have to talk about with your doctor, I take 75mg of Zoloft at night, and 1800mg of Neurontin during the day for my anxiety. Your doctor will decide what is best for you. The point I'm trying to make is that medication is invented for a reason, and it helps me. I also have a prescription for Klonopin, but I don't take it unless I absolutely need it...certain situations, I'm not on a regular dose or anything because I don't want to risk dependence. BUT, the other meds I'm on are not risky for dependence, and they help me a lot. I have been bed-ridden with anxiety at times, so I know where you're coming from when you say you just want to feel normal. Well, sometimes we need help feeling normal...or at least feeling better.
Don't be afraid, there are wonderful doctors out there that can and will help you...go out and find one...discuss what you want to do or how you feel, and they should help you.
Think about our progress with the heart and how we save lives with medication and surgery nowadays with the progress we've made in cardiovascular medicine...these are good times to live in because we've made staggering progress in mental health medicine as well.
All the best.