It's been such a weird couple of weeks for me. The worst has happened, my sister died of cancer last Thursday. It's been tough to handle. I haven't seen her or spoken to her in 30 years, it was her choice to not have anything to do with anyone in my family except my oldest sister Patte, so I guess I don't know how to feel, sometimes it makes me so sad, she was still my sister, and I guess I always hoped for 'someday' when we would all come back together as a family (I have several siblings who have chosen to have no contact with the family because of my mother), and sometimes I'm angry that she never tried to contact me or didn't want anything to do with me...I was 12 when she departed from the family and I did try to contact her. It's just been so confusing emotionally. Maybe I'm mourning the 'someday' part as much as the loss of a sister?
On the flip side, my sister Patte, who lives in TX came here to be with my sister in her last days. I haven't seen Patte in 12 years, we are extremely close, talk on the phone all the time and she's kind of like a mother to me as well. I didn't know she was here until Thursday when she called to tell me about my sisters death and then she casually mentioned that she was here. So being terribly saddened over my sister and then being thrilled that Patte was here all in the span of one minute. Talk about head spinning! I did get to spend Friday and Saturday all day with her and her husband, did some major retail therapy. It was just so amazing to see her, I never thought I would again as she does not travel and of course I don't because of the P/A.
Now everything has gone back to normal, the house is too quiet and I'm feeling so sad over my sisters death and my other sister going back home. Guess I just needed to share...thanks for listening.