Wow, thank you guys so much. It's so relieving to know that I'm not alone. I apologize for not saying much in my first post, it was late and I was tired.
Just to introduce myself.. I'm a 23yo female who has a pretty great life. I've had my ups and downs but I always considered myself a strong person. I've dealt with stress and worry all my life and I felt like I handled it pretty well - I've also had OCD since I was really little. I remember being about
9 or so and having to do these stupid rituals because if I didn't, I felt like something bad was going to happen to my loved ones. Silly, I know. But it felt like my mind was having an advantage over me, especially being so young - I didn't understand it. It took me many years to get over it, and I managed to cut my rituals down about
I had my first panic attacks a few years ago. I had one at a movie theater and now it's almost impossible for me to go see a movie without feeling anxious. My mom passed away a few years ago and since I'm a pretty spiritual person, I handled it kinda well. And a part of me feels as though deep down inside, I may be battling it. I read that most panic attacks are due to our subconscious - so I don't know. My 9mo niece had a seizure while I was babysitting her and it freaked me out. And my uncle is battling with AIDS and was given a month to live. So I mean, I have a lot to be stressed about
but it's weird.. like I said, I'm a strong woman & spiritual, so I've always felt like I've been able to handle these things well. I don't worry about
them so much but I feel as though.. deep down, I may be worrying and just don't realize it, if that makes sense.
I just can't seem to figure out why I'm panicking and how random they are. It's been 3 days since I had my recent panic attack but the nervous feeling hasn't gone away. I've always had a sensitive stomach and so even the nervous feeling is rough on me. I can't sleep or eat as well as I use to.
I recently found out I'm not the only one in my family who's been having PAs. Just in my immediate family, theres 6 others. All of whom are taking medication for it. I am not, I haven't even spoke to a doctor about
it yet. I didn't know whether I should see a doctor or a therapist. Although I REALLY would love to talk to a therapist and I have plans to soon. I feel as though it will be so much help.
Again, thank you guys so much -- you have no idea how less worried I am now! *hugs*
edit: I should probably add. I, for some odd reason, has always had the fear of dieing. But after my mom's passing, I became really spiritual and death no longer scares me. But now I'm afraid of going insane, it's weird and I can't say WHY -- I just do. Even when I'm not having a panic attack, I still have that fear. I feel as though sometimes I just want to SCREAM and I don't know why. Thats why I mentioned the subconscious, I feel as though something is bothering me, I just don't know what.
Post Edited (Kiyuri) : 6/8/2008 3:49:01 PM (GMT-6)