Hi, I have been reading some of your threads and thought maybe I could join in. I have been on the CP forum for quite some time but I am getting better with the physical pain issues and think it's time to pay attention to my mind. I have been treated for depression, panic/anxiety disorders since 1986. I have been on a variety of medications but my current combination seems to work pretty well: Cymbalta, Lamictal, Resperdal, Klonopin, and occassionally Trazadone.
Most days I am okay but am always on edge. I cannot stand loud noises and jerky movements. A friend that has been staying here for a while during my recovery seems to think it is funny to slap his hands and point right in my face. I jump out of my skin everytime. If it happens too often, I take a Klonopin to just settle my nerves till he gets tired of it. Another favorite is when I'm involved with reading, TV, computer, etc he will come up behind me and shout or make any other loud noise just to make me jump. He left on vacation this am; it will take at least two days for my nerves to settle where I realize I am alone and enjoy my peace & quiet. This, along with many other things, has led me to get rid of him shortly after his return.
Most of the time I feel like I can't relax because I'm afraid that if I do something major is going to happen (I haven't a clue as to what) and I won't be prepared. If I don't know someone is coming to my house, I kringe when the doorbell rings. I can't stand the TV turned up loud. I don't like a radio on in the car unless I am alone. Basically I guess I kind of feel trapped within myself, if that makes any sense.
Anyway, I just wanted to introduce myself and hopefully gain some insight into mine and others' perspectives.
Do not forget to entertain strangers for by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels. (Hebrews 13:2)