Welcome to The A & P forum.
I am glad your friend is gone and now you can feel some relief. It has been documented that People with anxiety usually are very bright and very sensitive – they pick up everything. In fact they pick up so much that they’re easily overwhelmed. They’re the people who find lights too bright and sounds too loud when everyone else around them barely notices.
Before I would let this friend stay with you again, I would have a serious conversation explaining to him he is not helping with his idea of having fun by startling you............it triggers you anxiety.
I feel you may be getting into the area of anticipatory anxiety. You posted I'm afraid that if I do something major is going to happen (I haven't a clue as to what)
Common Anticipatory Anxiety Reactions include :
Feelings: anxious, fearful, angry, confused, hopeless, losing control, numb, sad, moody, irritable, guilty.
Behaviors: withdrawal from others or activities, disrupted routines, startle reactions, easily crying
Cognitions: preoccupation with possibility of trauma, concentration difficulties, self-doubt, worry, indecisiveness, memory difficulties
Physical complaints: muscle tension, headaches, gastric distress, sleep and appetite changes, fatigue
Talking usually helps. Share your feelings with friends, family, on here are all good ways to work through the anxiety.
Relaxation techniques: Try deep breathing, muscle relaxation, visualization (imagining peaceful scenes), and/or listening to soothing music.
Realistic self-talk: While we can't always control what happens to us, we can always control what we say to ourselves. It's important to keep things in perspective. Talk to yourself in reasonable ways. Ask yourself "how likely is my fear?" Remind yourself that you have coped before during other challenging times. Don't just dwell on the negative but consciously look for things you can appreciate every day.
Your medication combo looks good if it is working for you. I am on the Cymbalta and Trazadone.
Keep posting and know we care.
Gentle Hugs to you
Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety, Panic & Depression https://www.healingwell.com/donate *~* Not a mental health professional of any kindIt is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~