Hey girl. Looks like this is a good place to vent, isn't it? Talking journals are great. I also write things down on paper, too.
Back in 1999, I remember having the same issues with Jesus coming back. I had so much anxiety about it. I stayed up all night worried that the world would come to an end when I woke up. Have you ever read any of the Left Behind books? I love those books. I'm on book 13 now and feel a little weird every now and then thinking about the end times. Do you have a preacher to talk to about your worries?
As for your husband, can you not talk to him about things? As far as your "favors", I'm sure he loved them but wonder if still in the back of his mind, he was stressed about stopping dipping. I know how my own husband is when he's stressed. Even sex doesn't help him if he's really stressed! Can you two have a sit-down about how he feels? Ask him if he's not attracted anymore. Ask him if he's happy with your body. My husband likes my hair longer, too, and likes me with meat on my bones but never says anything to me about it. I have asked him, though, about my hair, and when asked, he did tell me he didn't like my hair. But I had to drag it out of him.
Just come out and ask him. I would bet he's just stressed over his own things going on but if it bothers you, tell him you're concerned. Have you found a place online that specializes in eating disorders? I wonder if once you fix your eating disorder, things will seem better with your husband because you'll feel better about yourself.