I was recently diagnosed as bipolar about
two months ago. I'm a 23 year old graduate student. I've been taking Zoloft 100 mg for years and just began Lamictal 100mg (gradually increased). So far that hasn't worked too much. My moods are still all over the place. But the meds can/will be increased. Anyway.....
I have panic attacks, but they don't fit the classic scenario. I don't feel as though I'm dying. But I can't breathe. I get hysterical. I cry and curl up in a little ball and can hardly breathe, let alone peel myself off the floor. My chest is tight, my heart races, I can't take deep breaths. Usually these episodes are triggered by something small (fighting with the bf, for example). Often, they come on when I get paranoid thoughts about
him cheating or not caring about
me. They are not very logical thoughts, but I can't help the panic that they elicit. And once I start these "episodes", I can't rationalize anything to myself. The panic or whatever is happening just seems to take over.... I can't really describe it except in those words. I become so infantile though. I literally cry hysterically like a five year old throwing a tantrum.These happen intermittently. I had only one in the beginning of the year and then none for a few months, and then this past week I've had two.
Also, sometimes thoughts fly into my head about
some dangerous scenario.
I also can never relax. I'm constantly thinking about
something I have to do, even if it's something the following week. And this prevents me from sleeping. I can never ever ever fall asleep. My thoughts just won't shut up. I have to be so exhausted to fall asleep. I hardly ever get the recommended amount of sleep, which in turn doesn't help my moods at all!
Do I have a panic disorder? GAD? Or could it just be part of being bipolar? I was considering asking my new psychiatrist for a prescript
ion of Xanax or Clonopin, just a really low dose to calm me down when I get those attacks or to help me fall asleep. Thoughts?
I can't tell you all how great it feels just writing this stuff down. I'm so glad a place like this exists.
Sorry...there are some things we cannot mention here at HW..so I have done a little editing on your post. Best to check out the forum rules :) However I am glad you have come to HW and felt you could vent here all good!
Post Edited By Moderator (jordaNZone) : 6/23/2008 4:22:04 AM (GMT-6)