Paulos... Hi , I'm Mary... I don't think I've had the pleasure of getting to know you yet. I usually post on the CD forum.. but suffer with PTSD, anxiety disorder, depression among other things....
I am so impressed that you have gone 42 days without booz! Soo hard to do. It shows how determined you are... and it shows that you are doing some healing with all your anxiety,depression and other issues. I think positive changes happen for me when I get mad! Depression is anger turned inwards, a feeling of helplessness and lack of control over what life is giving us... plus the chemical things that go on in our brain with these disorders... but when I get mad at the right thing instead of blaming myself... it moves me to action.
I'll tell you a story. My dad is an alcoholic. He drank every day when I was growing up and he was a violent drunk... but when I was 22 years old... he happened to go to a Grey Cup game in Montreal with a bunch of ohter people from our home town. He drank of course from morning till night. He was in his hotel room getting changed and supposed to re-join the group , when he started becoming very sick, vomiting etc. he was in the washroom... alone in the hotel room... and while he was throwing up something got stuck in his throat. He said he thought he was going to die, because no one was there to help him. He said he literally saw his life pass before him .. Miraculously he managed to dislodge the obstruction and breathe again. He sat on the edge of his bed and said he 'physically' felt a hand on his shoulder. To this day , he believes that was his guardian angel, or guide, or someone who came to him although he was still all by himself. He had a good talk with himself. At that moment , he swore he would never drink again. And he didn't. NEVER! I am 51 years old now, and he has not touched another drop. Even though our childood was sooo difficult because of his drinking, we are all sooo proud of him . Every year on that anniversary he used to celebrate by taking us all out for dinner... he is 79 now and doesn't do that anymore. But I will be forever grateful for whatever higher power helped him and so proud of his sheer will and determination .
Paulos , do you have a support group, a partner or sponsor? YOU WILL CONQUER THIS! And you will be so proud of your accomplishment as will we. Right now we are so impressed with your 42 days... that will turn into 365 days, one day at a time. Come to us often... you know what a wonderful family HW is. We are rooting for you ... keeping you in my prayers dear Paulos.... Mary
51 yr.old retired RN,Crohn's D for last35 yrs..severe esophagitis, migraines,strictures,urethral stricture,depression,probable MS.,RLS, arthritis