It's been about
a year since I've had any notable anxiety problems, but I think it's happening again. There's the usual edginess and difficulty relaxing, but the main symptom is slightly different...
I keep getting a head rush whenever I stand up, I often feel faint and there's a feeling like my head weighs a ton! It feels like some sort of blood pressure problem, but I did occasionally experience the same sort of thing before amongst my other symptoms and the doctors checked out my BP at the time without any problems. I push myself quite hard when I'm excercising (I'm a keen mountain biker...) and I'm fairly sure any cardio/BP problems would show up then rather than when I'm at home trying to relax. Because of this I don't want to start making doctors apointments and stuff as I feel - in my case - it would risk 'fuelling' the health anxiety, rather than easing it.
I've also started feeling edgy again, but I presume that's cause rather than effect!
I don't know what's brought this on. I'm happier and more sucessful than I've ever been before - I've got quite a lot going on, but it's all positive stuff. Unfortunately the anxiety is starting to have distinctly a negative effect. I get paranoid - it feels like even if there's nothing physically wrong with me at the moment there will be after a few more years of this.
I know there are plenty of people far worse off than me (including many anxiety suferers), but I still just feel like it's really unfair nonetheless. Maybe it's a bit self-pittying, but when I get really wound up I just start thinking "why me?"
Sorry for the slightly negative tone, but I feel like it's on top of me at the moment and just wanted to vent!