Posted 7/22/2008 8:29 PM (GMT -6)
I am 56 yrs old, married to a wonderful little man for 38 yrs. I have two beautiful chidren a son 35 and daughter 32. I have three beautiful grands, the oldest granddaughter is almost 13, next granddaughter is almost 12 and my little grandson is almost 7. I live on a farm in ga.
I grew up with 8 brothers and sis. I had a wonderful life growing up, a loving family and I have a wonderful family of my own.
I have and have had panic attacks for the 40 yrs. I have been on all the good meds that are suppose to help, haven't found one that helps, so I take xynax when I have to. i don't understand why I have panic attacks because there is really nothing bad in my life to stress me.
I have had two neck sugury's and have battled breast cancer three different times. I lost my mom to cancer in 1996 and yes that was pretty stressful.
I am in constant pain from my neck and the pain is in more parts of my body than my neck. I am on pain meds. I had been panic free for almost three years, but around father's day out of the blue they were back, no warning just back big time. everyday panic attack, nights are worse, when I have them I can't stay inside the house, I have to go outside and I walk and walk until I feel as though I can't take another step. I have been outside all night, and this is numerous nights, I hate to go anywhere in the car, because I am afraid i will have a panic attack, if i have one while traveling, i am comming out of the car, doesn't matter where i am at, on the free-way i am comming out of the car and then all the passing folks can say just look at that crazed lady. I have had to get out and sit on store porchs and let hubby go get med. and bring back to me, before he could get me home. I am so embarrased after the fact, but it is something i can't help. I hate nights because i am always in dread of panic.
I am so dreading going back to work when school starts back, so please pray that my panic attack will be better by then, because i drive and monitor a school bus. I have driven bus for fifteen years, and been very blessed not to have panic attack while with my bus babies.
I have found if i have someone to talk to at the time of panic attack it calms me. I have had two friends over the years that would sit and talk to me all night or however long it would take for a calm for me. they both have passed away and left me. i have 1 other friend that is a true friend that now will sit and talk to me all night or however long it takes for the panic to cease or get better. I really thank God for such wonderful friends.
I came across your site today, and this is really what I need, is someone that can relate to my feelings. I have read all the get to know you post and each and everyone has touched my heart, and it is so nice to know there are people that can talk to me and understand what I am feeling.
yes i do realize that panic don't kill you and I know that i am not dying, but when you are having a panic attack i don't know about you, but sometimes i wish i would die to get away from it. and then after the calm i am thankful to be alive because i have so much to live for, and hope that maybe something i say or do will help someone else
i guess none of this made sense, but that is it.
have a blessed day or night which ever it is where you live
DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,Fibro & Other DD
Moderator @ Alzheimer's,Co Mod @ Anxiety/ Panic,Co Mod @ Crohns
FIGHT the FIGHT with all YOU HAVE
Look For The GOOD,Even At Your Lowest
Listen To Your Heart,Look Inside Yourself,Understand You