Rachel, you remind me a lot of my nephew. He gets confused and frustated at things in his life. He sufferes from ADD and just cannot focus.
He always thinks he's dumb. He's not, nor are you. What you are in unbalanced.
Being unbalanced does not equate to being dumb.
I too am suffering horrible depression. I know how much is hurts and how demeaning it can make one feel. We are not our feelings or our actions, we are deeper. We're a person deep inside all the hurt/pain, anxiety and confusion.
You owe it to youself to sit quiet and get in touch with that inner peace. Block out the world for 5 mins a day
And I will say this again, hun, you truly need to feed your brain. When my ex of 11 yrs left me for another women, I was almost a complete housebound person from anxiety. I depended on him for everything. Well then bang, he left, I was a mess. I had to get a job, live alone etc, and what I also did was starve myself b/c I could just not eat.
My day's diet was cereral with soy milk, a wrap with tomatoes and a bagel. That was it. I lost a lot of weight and I still worked out at the gym 4 days a week. In essence I was starving my body. Here's what happened, I became confused, weak, depressed, made silly choices in life, drank, slept with men, etc.
It took me 2 yrs to wake up and realize I was abusing my body.
As soon as I started eating again, and eating well, I bloomed like a flower. If you don't water or feed the garden, you'll never get fruit.
Make this your only mission, do not focus on your hubby, your job, stomach bugs, your Mother.....JUST YOU. You are THE most important person
Sending you a healing vibe today. Please eat
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where we take it one panic attack at a time
The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong in the broken places