Watched Father's Funeral

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Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2003
Total Posts : 561
   Posted 8/2/2008 11:53 PM (GMT -6)   
When my Father died last Year,I didn't go to his Funeral.Not just from being housebound Agoraphobic,but also not being able to say goodbye to my Daddy and last remaining immediate Family member.A couple Friends were over late last Night and whilst here,I asked if they would help me set up my DVD player.I wanted to watch a Movie on DVD that I was given as a Christmas Gift.Well,Yesterday Morning I watched my Father's Funeral on DVD and cried my Eyes out.It took me over 18 Month's to be able to watch.The 1st would have been my Dad and Step-Mother's 33rd Wedding Anniversary,so felt it was time.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 900
   Posted 8/3/2008 12:05 AM (GMT -6)   
What courage it took you to finally watch that DVD. I'm so sorry about your loss.
my prayers are with dear one!
51 yr.old retired RN,Crohn's D for last35 yrs..severe esophagitis, migraines,strictures,urethral stricture,depression,probable MS.,RLS, arthritis, PTSD ,general anxiety disorder.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2003
Total Posts : 561
   Posted 8/3/2008 12:13 AM (GMT -6)   

Thank you Mary..I had to reach down deep inside and gather all the courage I have inside to watch because I knew it would hurt regardless I watched it now or 10 Years from now.

Thank you for the having a really rough go of things right now..

Have a wonderful early Sunday Morning



Elite Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 8/3/2008 8:06 AM (GMT -6)   
I am proud of you for having the courage a well to finally watch the CD

I have one of Mom and Dad's but they are pics of all the stuff they did and went thru and us kids Gk's and GGK's in there

I believe you did the right thing perhaps this will give you some closure ..........

My thoughts and prayers as well

  DX With Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,Fibro & Other DD
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Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2003
Total Posts : 561
   Posted 8/7/2008 7:23 AM (GMT -6)   


Thanks..I watched it the Morning after what would have been my Dad and Step-Mother's 33rd Wedding Anniversary.I felt it was time since it's been over 18 Month's.I also have Dad's Funeral that was taped using a Cam Corder,however don't have an adapter,so am going to ask the Woman who loaned her Cam to a Friend if she will copy to DVD for me.My Sister Friend told me she taped/honed in on EVERYTHING.What really troubled me other than seeing my Father's Coffin being pushed down the aisle,at front of the aisle and seeing him laying there was: I didn't hear not 1 tear shed..I am really afraid if I had went to his Funeral I would have been a wreck and so emotional that I probably would have had to be taken to Emergency to get a Shot.


Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 8/7/2008 10:09 AM (GMT -6)   


That took great courage. You did it in your own time frame and that is good.  Each person should be allowed to grieve in their own way.

I have a friend that cannot go to her Mother's grave site and in my mind that is OK.  People deal with their losses when they can and how they can.

You did it and remembering their anniversary is special.  Most people forget those date when someone dies. 

You are truly remarkable............gentle hugs to you


Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
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Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2003
Total Posts : 561
   Posted 8/8/2008 3:14 AM (GMT -6)   

Thanks Kitt..I'm very unhappy about a lot of my Father's Funeral arrangements and am most unhappy at myself that I couldn't get out of the House to make the arrangements myself.His Sister is one of these that requires the entire platform,has to make all the decisions and runs over People.She showed her "Hiney" at the Funeral Home the Day Dad's arrangements were made.She wanted Dad to be dressed in Jeans and I got my way as his Daughter and she didn't get her's.It's probably a good thing I wasn't there coz I would of punched her!

I've been to the Cemetery once since my Grandmother and Mother died.After Grandmother died,I couldn't bring myself to go coz it hurts to see the clump of dirt piled on the Graves.

In a non-boasting manner,I always remember my late loved ones Anniversaries and Birthday's..It is honor and respect to them.


Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 8/8/2008 7:40 AM (GMT -6)   


Good for you for remembering and honoring  your loved ones that have died.  It takes great courage to deal with the death of a loved one and dealing with the relatives takes even more courage as you are so vulnerable at the time of the death of a loved one.

Kudos to you.



Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 1642
   Posted 8/9/2008 8:24 AM (GMT -6)   

So sorry for your loss.

My fathers funeral last year was one of the hardest things I ever did!

I think you watching it will help you bring some closure.

I still sometimes can't believe my Dad is gone, my mom and dad's anniv was AUg 1 so it was a rough day. they would have been married 45 years.

It is hard but we will make it through it.



Karen (Karendee)

Diagnosed w/ Crohn’s Disease  March 2007 Started Humira June 2008 (have been on other cd meds)

Diagnosed w/  Fibromyalgia May 2007 also on Soma

Diagnosed w/ General Anxiety Disorder in 2005- Effexor and now new med Clonazepam starting 7/18/08


Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 1952
   Posted 8/10/2008 3:49 PM (GMT -6)   

How hard it must have been for you to watch! I'm so glad you did, in order to get your chance to say goodbye in another way. And everyone's way of grieving is different - there's no right or wrong.

How lovely that you commemorate their birthdays and anniversaries. That's such a nice way to keep them as part of your life.


New Member

Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 8/11/2008 11:21 AM (GMT -6)   
Wow, I got chills when reading your post. You have no clue how brave you are for doing that! I'm very proud. That had to be so hard for you to watch. But I'm glad you were able to experience that, even though its a sad event, I would be miserable if I didn't attend my mom's.

I'm very proud!
You give me courage.
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