I have probably mentioned before but my ex is seeing an old friend of mine. I have alot of mixed emotions on the whole situation but have decided its for the best if we dont see eachother for awhile. Im not going to telll her Im not seeing nemore I will just do it. She barely makes an effort to see me these days neways. I feel v.sad to do this I stil love her deep down but it has to be done for my sake.
My feelings towards increasingly turn towards anger, it scares me little bcoz I kno I wud hurt him IF i lose my cool. The thing is its probably the rite thing todo, my new set of friends wud respect me more for doing it, my old friends wud expect me todo it and I think my ex wud feel flattered having 2men fight over her altho she would be v.disappointed in me. The old OCD thought is making think of every possible outcome of this one moment Im fine with it the next I want to lose my cool.
I kno it wud annoy him mor if i tried to get along with every1 n he lives with a v.close friend of mine who i have been unable to see bcoz of this.
It is the right thing todo to forget bout evry1 involved in this or am I jus making my anxiety worse.
I could swallow my pride n try and get along with every1 but sooner or later something will happen. I dnt if i mentioned bt me n my ex slept together recently which has help screw up my head alittle.
Other than feeling really angry today is the best day Ive had for ages, I hope every1 including me has a good wkend.
(skitt, lyn I did try hard not to break the rules)