I went to my counselling session this morning and left more upset than when I went in, which is saying something. The counsellor is a psychotherapist... She is currently rehashing my childhood which I don't see the relevance of right now. If I had a few years of therapy to do then maybe, but I've only got 6 weeks and a lot of this I've done before. I don't need to figure out what went wrong years ago: I know what happened then. I need to figure out what went wrong recently and caused this turn about
. I have 4 more sessions left with her and feel like I've achieved nothing so far. I desperately don't want to go onto anxiety meds but the way things are going I'm going to have to. Things haven't improved at all.
I'm forcing myself to try and continue doing things as normal but it's a constant fight. I go to Tesco and, even when I have a list, I can't concentrate to get what we need. The only thought stampeding through my head is 'get out'. I feel like I'm banging my head against a brick wall. Some days I do ok: I make it into town with reletively little upset and back again. Other days just thinking
of going out into the drive terrifies me and causes constant panic. Does anyone have any suggestions? I'm trying to implement my old CBT strategies but feel like I'm failing miserably.
I'm sorry for whinging and moaning here. In a way I'm getting it all straight in my head and venting my frustration. I'm tired. Thank you for your support. <!--IBF.ATTACHMENT_107963-->
Dx: Panic Disorder, Psychotic Depression, Rheumatoid Arthritis
Rx: Humira, Methotrexate, Plaquenil, Prednisolone, Codeine, Diclofenic Sodium, Folic Acid