This DOES cause Anxiety

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Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2003
Total Posts : 561
   Posted 8/12/2008 2:40 AM (GMT -6)   
I owe my Sister Friend Money.Nothing has been mentioned in a very long time.Yesterday when talking with my Aunt (Dad's Sister who gives me crap) about Money she asked if I owe my SF Money.She said SF's Son told all over Town I do.
SF got 10 kinds of bent out of shape at my Aunt for "telling lies on her Son" and tried calling my Aunt to confront her.
For once I have to give my Aunt credit where credit is due.SF's Son DID tell at least 1 Person I owe his Mother Money.
SF's Son used to ride around Town with a Police Officer.The Officer got a call (probably a BS call) to an Uncle's.Well,it so happened to be a Night SF's Son was with the PO.He TOLD my Uncle I owe his Mother Money and my Uncle must of told my Aunt or someone else and it got back to my Aunt (small Town America here)..
SF's Son threatened me once when the business is between his Mother and I and he had no right to discuss our private business out in the open with anyone.
After I learned he told my Uncle I owe SF,I called and talked with a Police Officer and told him he threatened me and asked that he stop telling around business that is between his Mother.My Father was still living,was gravely ill and I didn't want it to upset and worry him if he heard about it.
I lied to my Aunt (yes I sure did) about owing my Sister Friend because like SF's Son,it is none of her business..
My SF needs to realize her Son ain't as perfect as she thinks..he and some of their Family had People believing her Son is a Police Officer and Firemen when he isn't..he just rode around with a Police Officer and went on Fire calls and was actually in the way.
If something had happened to him during a Police or Fire call there would have been a HUGE Lawsuit slapped on this Town because SF's Son is disabled..
I told her,"It greatly troubles me that I owe you Money and can't repay,but as soon as I have the Money will."
I have bought the Woman hundreds of dollars worth of Groceries when she didn't have Food in the House.
I added countless credits to my calling card which took Money so I could call US Congressmen,State Senators and Prominent People I know just so she could have love and happiness (when a Man she met from Overseas on the Internet) was denied a Visa to come visit.I didn't expect to be repaid a Dime..
I wasn't the Friend who lived with her 5 or so Month's and used Drugs while in her Home nor did I rob her blind whilst she was still gravely ill and knocked out on high powered pain Medications.She still refers this Friend as Sister and says she loves her..
I wouldn't take a Penny from her,but she will more than likely side with her Son..


Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 2446
   Posted 8/12/2008 8:57 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Sydnee. The anxiety causes from this would just be solved if you would pay back this person and then work on getting the toxic people out of your life

You seem to surround yourself with very unhealthy people and you need to work on that in order to get well.
Are you in therapy now?

Moderator - Anxiety-panic forum
where we take it one panic attack at a time
The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong in the broken places

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2003
Total Posts : 561
   Posted 8/12/2008 9:17 AM (GMT -6)   
I am working on paying her back.Trust me,I marked a few toxic People off my list.I don't have a big selection of Friends as I live in "podunk".Hopefully that will change when I move to a larger Metropolitan Area.
What is so upsetting is:I feel as if I'm being blamed for her financial debt when I only owe her a small amount,yet the Guy she was involved owes her thousands and she isn't doing anything to reclaim.
She is mad at me because I told my Aunt I don't owe her (had a very good reason why) and that it made her Son appear to be a liar.HE IS A LIAR because he TOLD my Uncle I owe his Mother Money,yet obviously told his Mother he didn't tell my Uncle..
No I'm not in Therapy and don't want to be especially in this small gosh forsaken place!



Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 8/12/2008 9:23 AM (GMT -6)   


I agree with the advice Peacesoul has given the debt and take a good hard look at your relationship with your SF.   Is this someone that you want in your life or is the relationship toxic.

Surround yourself with people you like and refrain from getting into situations where you get so deeply involved until you have your anxiety under control.

I know it hurts to have to give up friends but is this person really a friend?



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Elite Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 8/12/2008 9:44 AM (GMT -6)   
I am sure glad you are getting rid of toxic ppl in your life
YOU have to rid self of all of them IMHO
A therapist in any place is under OATH
and could lose license if talking about a client/patient

I would be more concerened with getting yourself some therapy
and paying her back this ( small ) amount as you state you do owe
THIS way the anxiety is not all around you

PPL with a/p should not stay in a place IMHO
that keeps them forever stuck in drama
and fighting ..arguments ect
I moved from a small town for this very reason

I will not let my anxiety and panic be controlled by others ya know

Take care

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Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 2446
   Posted 8/12/2008 11:17 AM (GMT -6)   
Sydnee, 4 yrs ago when I got out of a very bad relationship, I knew it was time for me to clean up my life.
My friends were very toxic to me and in a 3 month period, I walked away from ALL but one of them. These were my friends since I was 13.
One was a liar who would always steal, the other a pathological liar with a history of drama, the other a drunk who was terribly needy and another who was just down-right evil. All had good hearts (but the evil one) and it was so hard to walk away.

I went from being with friends all the time, shoppig, going out etc, to be ALL ALONE for many many months until I made new healthy friendships.
It was hard, but my self esteem was/is being renewed because of it.

Are you getting out more lately?
Moderator - Anxiety-panic forum
where we take it one panic attack at a time
The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong in the broken places

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 1952
   Posted 8/12/2008 2:26 PM (GMT -6)   

You've got a good plan set up for dealing with the money problem. Try not to let what others in town think they know - your relatives, SF, police, whoever - affect how you deal with what you know about yourself and your situation.

I'm sorry that this person is so unpredictable a companion for you. I'm sure you must care for her, but she seems to have a bad way of returning the friendship. Take care of yourself and your feelings of what's right and wrong, and if she doesn't go along, try not to let that affect your self-worth. You deserve and have the right to expect better treatment than this.


getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 8/12/2008 4:20 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Sydnee10,

I think that these guys are right on track. Pay this person what you owe them. Evidently you told her that you would pay this back, otherwise nothing would be said. This will make you feel better about yourself and take away the anxiety.

I would just ignore what people in town are saying, and by paying the money back, they will shut up anyway. It sucks to live in such a small town that everybody knows your business.

As for the counseling, there is nothing to be embarrassed about. No matter who sees you go into the office. You need the help and you would be suprised how good you feel from getting counseling. That will also lift your anxiety.

What other people say about us doesn't define who we are. You are a good person and I would let this all go in one ear and out the other. Keep trying to be the good person that you are.

Best wishes
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2003
Total Posts : 561
   Posted 8/18/2008 12:51 AM (GMT -6)   


The feeling is WONDERFUL getting rid of toxic People.I choose not to see a Therapist in my Area for 2 reasons.1) They write whatever they want in their notes and 2) Being such a small place I prefer to not see a Therapist in the Area.

As soon as I get my Father's final affairs and a few other matters squared away,I am moving out of State.There is nothing left here for me.


Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 2721
   Posted 8/18/2008 2:48 AM (GMT -6)   


I am so glad that you are taking the steps you need to get the negativity out of your life. I hope you find some peace in your new way of living. Take care, don't make too many quick moves and stick to your sense of self. I wish you all the very best.


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