No need for apologies here okay. It's just so very draining when your body is in pain, not reacting or working the way it should. I'm really sorry you are feeling this way. Do you have any idea what it might be? Is it anxiety or medication or do you think it is something more? I can empathise with your worry about the cost, but if it is ruining your quality of like you really need to see a doctor. You do not deserve to feel like this.
If your doctor accuses you of "drug seeking behaviour" (wanting more meds) then find another doctor (or cry, that helps sometimes - joke!). I know if you been slapped in the face with the "it's all in your head" speech by docs then you are reluctant to go back (understatement!)..I wish I could quit all doctors too, but sadly they are the ones with the prescription pad.
If the pain gets worse, please see a doctor immediatley, don't mess with your health. Please take care now, be gentle with yourself, and let us know how you are going. Venting is 100% allowed!
Panic Attack Survivor
Weekend Warrior Princess