angela..... First of all let me welcome you to this beautiful Healing Well family . We are indeed a family here... and support each other through absolutely everything. Everyone is caring and gentle with you so don't ever be worried about being judged or critized.
So let me tell you that you have done something wonderful for yourself today. ... and you should be very PROUD! you are taking the first steps in taking control of those awful feelings. you are being Pro-active about your anxiety and honey... that is a BIG step... and means that you already starting to get better!!!
As far as worrying about everything goes, you are talking to the expert worrier of all times.! My mind just automatically goes to the worst case scenarios , always. I am slowly learning to stop myself as soon as I realize I am doing it... trying very hard to stay in the present... which means you have to concentrate on something concrete... distract yourself right away... focus on your breathing... count your breath in slowly through the nose and hold it for 5 seconds or so...then slowly breathe it out, concentrate on your lungs expanding ,etc... or get up and do something and focus on every little detail of that action.
I am a retired nurse... so I know your worries about imagining all sorts of things that could go wrong with your health and your pregnancy. I finally had to stop looking things up on the internet every time I felt a twinge somewhere. I surrounded myself with a whole lot of positive, funny, inspirational books(from the thrift shop)... funny movies. I cut out all CSI's and Criminal Minds and anything negative, including the news . I started a "GRATITUDE " journal... making myself write in it everyday. sometimes I could only think of one thing... the sun was shining today ex. .... but soon I started thinking gratefully and that made a big difference. The other thing that works for me is nature. I love birds, trees, the ocean, flowers... so I started going outdoors everychance I got and made a point of noticing the different greens in the trees, the marvelous arrays of colors of flowers... the fresh air... forced myself to breathe.BREATHE!!!!when we are anxious we forget to breathe.
Kitt will be along soon I'm sure to tell you to focus on the present as well... We have wonderful moderators here ... they will have good , sound advice for you plus lots of tender loving care.
You have sooo much to deal with its true... change is hard on everybody... EVERYONE! so don't beat yourself up about that.
You have a beautiful little boy... concentrate on his daily achievements. PS. I started a journal to my girls when they were 2 months old( my children are a year apart too). I wrote them "love letters" ... telling them each how unique they were... how much happiness , and laughter they brought to my life.. the new little things they did everyday that I marveled at.
Well... I've said quite enough... you thought your post was long! Well, say hello to 'gabby'old Mary!
Much love and prayers to you little mom... You're already half way there... Just come to us often!
51 yr.old retired RN,Crohn's D for last35 yrs..severe esophagitis, migraines,strictures,urethral stricture,depression,probable MS.,RLS, arthritis, PTSD ,general anxiety disorder.